Friday, February 24, 2012

the unsilliness of my busyness

ok.  am just sitting here at starbucks, slowly sipping at my tall green latte with extra macha (?), and writing this blog entry.  am i busy?
it is friday and this was my week:
sunday - breakfast at the farm, paint my forest, lunch with matt, louella and alexa, finish painting my forest, sketch on a new canvass, post a new blog entry.
monday - interview by cbsua students at the farm, coffee @ shakey's iriga, gym, bring imago paintings to naga with francis, watch a movie with kc, celebrate with lilette @ shakey's naga, watch a second movie with kc and the sisters.
with burikbutikan friends after the alvin yapan movie
lilette, tootsie, ritzie, bidibidi & kc
tuesday - value chain analysis seminar at dti, hang imago paintings at avelino's with OsacnaB et al, coffee with karmi & winnie @ starbucks, dinner at yellow cab.
with Keith, Byl & Minnie and other participants

atty. sales, OsacnaB, bidibidi, Alvin Yapan, Kristian Cordero, Fr. Wilmer Tria
wednesday - lecture at the ateneo de naga on "social entrep-doing business with a heart", lunch with the dean and staff at coko cafe, book hunt at booksale, shop with kc, meet up with women artists @ bob marlin, coffee with wying @ starbucks, attend 1st year anniv of gnn tv network @ the avenue plaza hotel
lecture on Social Etrepreneurship - doing business with a heart, AdeNU

the business dept dean and professors of Atemeo de Naga Univ

belen llamas, dollie chavez, bidibidi, cecile pardo, wying tam, cristy palma, luzviminda maristela, leah boquiron

thursday - rafc meeting @ riars, da. reserve room by the diamond hotel (bwahahaha!), email dr tam re may seminar, costing of kit for recycling craft, swedish
friday (today) - meeting with ric women @ the farm, weekly meeting with farm personnel, walk the paths, and smell the roses, pack, naga, bring book, manila
a new bloom @ La Huerta de Rosario, which i discovered on my walk today
saturday (tomorrow) - breakfast with chinqui, lunch with ron, quiapo for f.a.r.m. materials, divisoria for canvass and other supplies
sunday - visit friends in laguna, lunch with annie and pinky, dinner with emelie and rosalie
monday - tagaytay for the three-day consultative meeting on the agriculture and fisheries modernization act. . .
bwahahaha!  am i busy?
hmmmm.  let me think.
'forests' by bidibidi
the unsilliness of my busyness.
i never thought i would laugh at how busy i am.  i was serious about my ability to be a superwoman.  i was labelled as such by well-meaning and ill-meaning persons.  not that i care what they label me with, but yes, i have the ability of a superwoman.  bwahahaha!  i could work and play and have fun all at the same time.  bwahahaha!
'forests' by bidibidi
i love doing it all.  this is my goal!  i want to be consumed.  and i do not, at all, feel exhausted!  and it does not cost me friendships, in fact, i meet a lot of new and wonderful friends and somehow maintain and keep good old ones, too.  my busyness is not even a little bit silly.
more of bidibidi art
becoming busy was not an accident.  but a decision i made on purpose.  i made a decision that an unbusy life was not a life for me. this busy life, is the life i wanted.  i am conscious of what i have, these gifts, and i could not waste a minute, naaah aaah!  these gifts are meant to be enjoyed, and how i am enjoying them!  everyday!  every minute!
in my busyness, i find freedom to do the things that make my heart sing, instead of things that weigh me down.
i do not want to be unbusy.  my busyness is grace for me, from the force.  i could not imagine being unbusy.  oh, my.  oh, no.  bwahahaha!  and do not get me wrong, i love everything i do, and i only do what i love doing.  i do not conform nor do i compromise.  i believe in my value system and that which guides my thoughts and deeds.
so today, i take my lazyboy to the city and there, that place is what i call busy.
bwahahaha!  not me. 

thank you!  ilysm!  ♥ ♥ ♥   

Sunday, February 19, 2012

yet another moment

i write on my journal every day.  my routine would be to write an entire page of things i am truly thankful for, then i write about things that i affirm in my life, oh my, when i read those entries back, what joy they bring to me, and loads of laughter, too.  bwahahaha!  
sometimes, that is all i write, but there are many days and times when i write about special things that happen, or my feelings on something and someone.

this morning, after i write my gratitude entries, i began to write about yesterday.  i had fun painting and had a great philosophical conversation.  i needed my dose of wisdom, and i got it!
i was too lazy to get up from bed, although, i have been awake before my avian friends sang me their morning songs, when it occurred to me that i was truly happy and that i hold in my heart a lot of moments of joy!  i realized that this happiness that i feel is not at all fleeting, and the joy that makes me smile all day and through my sleep are really well-rooted in the very core of my being.
this morning, too, i realized that i appreciated myself and was loving the person i have become.  (do not think this is being egotistical, because that is something i have had struggles with, in the humps and bumps of the ride.  bwahahaha!)  it was such an awesome feeling, and the feeling has carried over into my willing to get up and start the day with a purpose.
as i was writing, i found myself thinking this, too:  to the persons i have clung to with suffocating bonds (memories), i set you free.  may light go with you on your journey, and may you create your life exactly as you wish it to be.
of course i know this already, but yesterday, i re-realized that i create my own circumstances. . .my own life, and i need to own up to that and take responsibility.  and no one else truly has the power to make me suffer, that i can let go of any suffering.  and when i let go, then i can experience the beauty of love that awaits me.

thank you for the love!  ilysm back!  ♥ ♥ ♥

38. the gift of harvest

everyday, i am in the midst of miracles unfolding. 
 and for this week, i am grateful for a plentiful harvest at my farm.  


Thursday, February 16, 2012

i am a creative

last week, i was one with my group to observe the national arts month, with our own version of celebrating.  we invited ron david, an art collector and emmanuel garibay, a known visual artist to share with us their thoughts on art.  one of the activities we hosted was the art encounter, wherein we invited artists, students, teachers and enthusiasts to participate in the forum and witness the demo done by the guest artist.  and from what i gather, not all of the attendees, including the members of the host group, burikbutikan, can call themselves "creatives". 
it was only lately that i have come across the word and its new use and meaning.  and i have realized that the word creative has somehow evolved from being just an adjective to now being a noun!  amazing!  bwahahaha!
but, can we call our lot, creatives?  this question has made me do a lot of soul-searching and reflection.  and i asked myself this, what really is a creative?
after a lot of thoughts, reads and searches, i realized that the word really refers to a new and emerging class of people.  so here goes my take on the word, the class, the person:
a creative is an artist.  not just a painter or a musician or a writer, but someone who sees the world a little differently than others.
a creative is an individual.  someone unique, someone who does not fit into any box.  (no pun intended.  bwahahaha!)  people see creatives as iconoclasts; others see them as rebels.   both are actually apt.
a creative is a thought leader, influencing people not necessarily through personality but through innate gifts and talents.
and i went further with this:  what does a creative do?  good question. . .sometimes they do not even know.  bwahahaha!
but after, again, much thought, i know that a creative creates art. (hello?)  not to make a buck, but to make a difference.  she writes to write, not to be noticed.  sings to sing, for the pure joy of making music.  and she paints to paint.  and so on. . .
a creative colours outside the lines.  on purpose.  in so doing, she shows the world a whole new picture they never would have otherwise seen.
a creative breaks the rules.  and as a result, she sets a new standard to follow.
with the state we are in:  our world, our environment, the youth, i know we need creatives.  and truth is, we need more creatives in positions of influence - to colour the world with beauty and life.
creatives craft poetry in a world that is otherwise content with prose.  they bring art to areas where there is only architecture.
creatives help us see life in a new light - to perceive a new dimension, a deeper way of encountering what we know.  and we need more of those kinds of leaders.
don't you agree?
here's the thing, i am a creative!  bwahahaha! 
you have painted my world colourful!  ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

gifts on valentines day

to receive this day as it is and not as i wish it was, seems like an impossible task, sometimes.  especially as i stand here at the dfa, at the end of a long queue, only to realize it is pouring.  down.  the rain.
or when i have big plans for a productive day, but have to deal with people dynamics at the farm, some in fighting going on.
i wish for tomorrow a lot.  on these times, i forget and rarely consider the fact that tomorrow does not really even exist.
every week, most often on a sunday, i purpose to receive the day as the only day i got.  some days i am overflowing with gratitude for the beauty and the peace.  sometimes for the sunshine, and yeah, sure, for the rains.  i pick out gifts and blessings like blooms in a whole field full of daisies!  there is more than enough to go around.
but there are other days when i take on the blues, and i trip over some stuff, and feel there is just too little time.  i am worried and fragile, and i desperately need a hug, an embrace, maybe just my hands held.

today, it's valentines day. ♥ ♥ ♥

i am also learning what it means to embrace those days, too.  because those days are the days when i discover my need for you, for encouragement, for community and solitude and forgiveness.
so whether i am in the midst of the mess, surrounded by the lovely or uninterrupted by things unexpected, i pause and always consider the gift, whatever it might be. 
ilysm!  you give meaning to my life!  ♥ ♥ ♥

Sunday, February 12, 2012

i breathe

breathing transforms, repairs, restores my life.
when i feel stressed out and overwhelmed, besieged and beleaguered. . .i breathe.
calms and cools me down, releases the tensions.
when i worry about something coming up, or get caught up in something that already happened. . .i breathe.
brings me back to my present, my now.
when i get discouraged and forget my purpose. . .i breathe.
reminds me about how precious my life is, and that each breath is a gift i appreciate, value and welcome.  
when i have too many tasks that i need to do, or are scattered and strewn during my day. . .i breathe.
gets me focused again, and able to concentrate, ponder and muse over the more important task, right now.
when i move too fast. . .i breathe.
reminds me to slow down, hold back and enjoy life more.
when i am at the gym, yes, i recently enrolled in a gym. . .i breathe.
helps me enjoy and take pleasure in the routine and helps me stick to it longer.
when i am with you. . .i breathe.
allows me to be with you fully, wholly, completely.  lets me realize, nothing and no one else matters.
so, i breathe. . . and i enjoy each moment of my life.
too fleeting
and too few to waste.

thank you!  with you, i see colours where otherwise there's none.  ilysm!  ♥ ♥ ♥