Sunday, October 30, 2011

follow your dreams, no matter what

i dared to dream.

my dream was off the beaten track

what made me more unwavering to follow my dreams, was my mother's last words to me, before she passed away:  "seguir tus suenos"  (follow your dreams).  my ma and i would sometimes have our spanish exchanges, just for her to check if i still remember the language i aced at the ateneo.  i didn't know then, that that would be her last words to me, and that those words would condition and prepare me to follow my dreams, no matter what.

i have always been drawn to the rural lifestyle.  although my travels brought me to places far and near, there is an undefined lure that would always take me back to baao, and the rural lifestyle.  at first, i was anxious that i would get bored with the parochial way of life.  little did i know then, that the farm lifestyle i was about to embrace would make me outstanding in the field. 

today, i am thankful for:

23.  Rosario, my mother, who believed in my dreams and Leopoldo, my father, who ingrained in me the love for farming
Rosario, my mother, from whose name the farm is known - La Huerta de Rosario
24.  Teresa, my sister, whose support, appreciation and occasional doubts made me more firm, staunch and unyielding on my dreams
Martin, Ma, Teresa, bidibidi, Pa
25.  Martin, my brother, who i know, is proud of me, despite his not being very vocal about it.  bwahahaha!

being outstanding in the field is a conscious choice i make everyday, every moment.  

and being recognized 
for doing what i love doing, 
what i was born to do, 
for living the dream. . .
is a bonus, an extra, a plus.

life is definitely good!  bwahahaha!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

fresh and green morning

it is far from daybreak, sunrise is hours away.  i am wanting i had spent the night at the farm, where i will hear my coop make their morning noise, my avian friends chirp their morning songs. . .
i wake up too soon and couldn't go back to sleep, so my brain started to t.h.i.n.k. . .

(sometimes i hate it when it does that.  and it was too late to recall what ned and i talked about the last time, over a brew - the mind tricks you, do not listen to it, listen instead to your heart.)

i took myself down a path that i shouldn't have gone and when i got there, i said, "lakokafalfal!"  bwahahaha!

well, i am not really an idiot, but what i am is unkind, cruel, nasty and hurtful to the self.  when i stripped away the illusion, the figment of my imagination, my chimera ( i love the sound of this word.  bwahahaha!), of what i had been thinking about, and saw instead the truth of the situation, i realized that the only person in the situation who is being unkind and out of alignment with the person i was created to be, was me. (hello!  bwahahaha!)
i know the person that i want to be and that person always chooses peace and love (am a flower person), but i so often find myself choosing emotions that are in conflict with that desire.

(giving myself a break now, at least now i know what is causing the problem.)

being the person i want to be, requires me to get rid of my expectations and judgements about the behaviour of others, and this is the hardest thing to do!  yet, in doing so, i have judged the self and found the self lacking, wanting. . .

the face of unkindness is not on him, it is on me.  and whatever life brings to me, i cannot blame anyone else for my lack of peace, or my stress.  i can choose to judge the behaviour of others and find them right or wrong, or i can choose my response to it,  because i know that each one of us has to live with the consequences of our choices.  

as part of my morning meditation/journaling routine,  i have often listed things that i am grateful for.  so, today, i am grateful for:

22. the fresh and green villa where i live and where the crack of dawn brings a new beginning, always.
focusing my attention now on what my heart sees, and not MINDing too much. . .and it is a good thing.  

now am ready and i choose you and ilysm.  bwahahaha!

Friday, October 21, 2011


my walls now go up quickly. . .

i've learned to build them from a master. . .

Monday, October 17, 2011

i met my hero, now, he knows my name!

last week, i experienced one of the most exhilarating, breath-taking, thrilling feelings in the world!  i got to host the visit of one national artist!  bienvenido lumbera, mang bien, for those close to him.  a recipient of the ramon magsaysay award for journalism, literature and creative communications.  winner of numerous literary awards, including the national book awards from the national book foundation and the carlos palanca memorial awards.  and the list goes on. . .

but i just didn't meet him.

i got his autograph.

i got my picture taken with him.

i listened to him speak.
i talked with him.

i hosted a dinner for him.
i got to know the person behind the name.

it was amazing!

but i think one of the coolest thing about it, the thing that really struck me, was that he now knows MY name - bidibidi.  (he even learned to pronounce it correctly!  bwahahaha!)  he took interest in me as an individual, even though i was feeling very insignificant while i was having the jitters of anticipation of meeting a hero, the feeling of being small in the presence of a great person.

the day ended leaving me feeling special, not because of what i had done, but because of the way he had taken me in his circle.  and taken interest in me personally.  and this was one of many ways i see and feel joy!
ps.  i even made him laugh with my jokes!  bwahahaha!  

pps.  my thanks to: kristian, OsacnaB, fr. eric, bing, butchog, ibyang, bembot, the baao children's choir, of course to my la huerta crew: virgie, lalaine, jr, sandy, inggay.  my joy was possible because of you!  life is good!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

a random act of kindness

just a short account of a wonderful experience yesterday.

i was on a bus from the DA office.  the bus was full, well, except for a lone empty seat at the very end.  imagine how i was trying to keep my poise and my balance at the same time, walking the bus aisle, when the bus lurched forward, as if making it a perfect timing to make me wish i had my own car!!! and am not shouting. bwahahaha!

somehow, i reached the seat, whew! with no bumps and bruises.  i had to catch my breath, tho!  it was the longest bus aisle trek i ever had!  and for every step i took, i was cursing that mad driver!  and he has to stop at every single person standing by the hiway, even when all the seats were taken already.  so, the aisle started to be filled with passengers, too, all eager to go home.

i was already resigned to ending a good day with this annoying and dismal experience, when two young men seated just in front of me, stood up and offered their seats to two standing passengers.  that surely caught my attention.  not that they were loud, but  the rarity of what i was hearing made my eyes look up in disbelief.  such random act of kindness was rare!  at least in buses like the one i was on, yesterday.

so i looked to see who the two fine young men were, and found out, i do not know them.  ( i was of course hoping, they were members of my estudiantinas, or my 4h club, or one of my f.a.r.m. scholars).  so, i keenly observed and didnt know that i had the biggest smile on, that caught the attention of one of the two young men, now standing just beside me.  he smiled back.

when the passengers they gave up their seats for, got off at anayan, they took their seats back.  after a short distance, the bus then reached the bula junction and of course, the driver stopped and let more passengers in.  lo and behold, the two offered their seats again.  and it went on for more passengers.  the two young men didn't really qualify who they were offering their seats to, they were doing it so randomly, and it was amazing to watch and observe.

i couldn't keep myself from taking pics of them.  my seatmate (who i suppose is a teacher, she got on the bus by the deped area), was surprised and asked me why i was doing that.  i told her i was always on the lookout for random acts of kindness and would like to write an account of my experience.

to make this yesterday experience complete, one of the two young men got off the bus in buluang, and the other in san nicolas.  my seatmate (now, also interested in the subject of my observation), said:  "oh, they are from baao."  i was actually beaming with pride.

random acts of kindness are a means by which we make a deliberate attempt to brighten another person's day by doing something thoughtful, nice, and caring for them.  kindness is a way of showing others that they count and that even in the face of hostility and selfishness, we are making a stand for kindness.

thank you, two fine young men!  you make life good!  bwahahaha! 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

the gift of the simple and the ordinary

this morning, i wrote on my journal early, before the break of dawn.  it was a bit of a toss n turn sleep, he was causin' and i was not mindin'.  bwahahaha!  i love everythin' he does to me, also makin' me silly...

part of my morning ritual and has been for sometime, is to write an acknowledgement of the blessings that come my way, everyday.  and today, my morning started with the usual, and then i wrote, "thank you for every situation in my life, because it is a way of learning...a way of creating...who i am."  so however strange my situation is, my connection, my liaison with him, i am thankful and grateful, too.  afterall, my life is but the fulfillment of His design.

i was at my eden early, too.  i love having breakfast here at la huerta, where everything is beautiful, and am not just sayin'.

i love the meanderings that my twist and turn path grant me, and i chanced upon a patch of weeds that were bloomin' this time of year.  and they bring to mind a line i read somewhere that says:  "one of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats."  

so for today, i am thankful for:

21.  the simple and ordinary blooms that make my eden complete. they surely are a treat!