Saturday, December 31, 2011


i only drink wine when i am happy,
on cloud nine.
and when i am sad,
down the dumps.
sometimes, i drink it when i am alone,
and when i have company, 
i consider it obligatory,
i trifle with it if am unhungry,
and sip, 
lup it up when i am not.

i never touch it
unless i am thirsty.

happy new year!

ps.  thank you for the vibrant colours in my life!  ilysm!

Friday, December 30, 2011

vibrant. vivid.

it has been a Sisterhood tradition to celebrate christmas!  and this year, we celebrate our life's colours!

it was a gathering of friends, of sisters.  27 dec 2011.  

it is not everyday that we get the chance to come together, hang out and exchange gifts and stories, with our sisters / friends.  and this party we hold yearly, is our own way to stay in touch, amidst the busy every day of our own separate lives.  a year will definitely be incomplete without the gathering of The Sisters in the Hood.


 usually, long before the party date, the theme has already been in mind.  sometimes ideas come from my own stock of the stuff i use in F.A.R.M., other times, the idea comes from the net. 

this year, however, the inspiration came just by the time i was setting up the table.  

there were minor hitches, like when i couldn't find the portuguese lace that i love using for formal sit-down dinners.  

i have to settle for the crocheted hand-me-down table cloth.  the rest came easy.  i have boxes of crocheted doilies in the rich colours i was imagining the table setting would be.  
and my neighbours had the euphorbia blooms that would complete my palette.  bwahahaha!  some flowers were picked from unknowing neighbours.  bwahahaha!  beware of the flower picker that lurks during this time of the year.
a week before our party, we have already decided / assigned the colours of my F.A.R.M. christmas trees, to the five of us.  

i got to pick my fave green, and i had my mind set on wearing one certain vintage linen dress for the occasion.  
of course, ritzie did not have to be asked, and no one dared pick her colour from among the choices.  bwahahaha!  a show of respect, i.e.  she owns the colour, we respect ownership.  tootsie had her red, too, also owned.  and yayette was made to pick from either blue or yellow, and opted for the sunny yellow, very appropriate for the sunny and smiling disposition she owns.

(by the way, when i set up my F.A.R.M. Christmas trees, i never realized that it might as well represent the sisters!  in fact, my other group, burikbutikan baao, having five members as well, identifies with the trees, too.  W.O.W.).  

we started dinner with a bottle of red.  tootsie warned us, tho, of her impending dozin'off - a forboding of the coming 3rd hour.  ritzie, of course, was gracious enough to enjoy the wine, without batting an eyelash.  bwahahaha!  no preconcieved complaints from her.  (complaints = T not R).  bwahahaha!

before we gulped away the red, we had our salad, the greens of which came from La Huerta.  i love serving dishes that use my farm produce.  i set up a salad bar just near our dinner table, so eveybody can just fix n' mix their own salad.

the main course was the farm meatloaf, partnered with the creamy mashed potaoes in mushroom gravy.  the meatloaf was perfect, taste, texture and appearance.  thanks to lalaine, for following my culinary instructions.  bwahahaha!

we had frozen grahams for dessert, and yayette brought out some truffles, too.

the exchange of gifts came right after dessert, so we had to transfer to the next room, the gallery, where our gifts were.  

we each had an item on our wishlist, where our sisters would know what to give each other.  this lets us prevent receiving unwanted gadgets and stuff that overcrowd our storage.  we only wish for what we need.  

this year, i realized, i need a new flat iron, so i wished for that, and i got it!  sans the giddy.  (reminder to T).  bwahahaha!

we opened our presents with the excitement of children, reminiscent of our early christmas days when we wake up expectantly and rush under the tree to look for gifts with our names on them.  we relive those wonderful memories, in our sisterhood christmas traditions.

this christmas, The Sisters in the Hood celebrate life's colours with vibrant and vivid hues!  

and it didn't have to be perfect to be beautiful!  bwahahaha!

ps.  ilysm!  thank you for the colours!

Monday, December 26, 2011

a special day after christmas

"but it was you who let everything into my heart, and it was you who once again awoke my spirit."
-sigur ros

a special day after christmas, 
a day of reflection
i have learned not to dwell in the past
i once forgot to dream of the future
now, i live in the present.

i discovered that peace comes from within
i do not seek it from without, 
not anymore, never.

i realized that i deserve my own love and affection
so, i love myself today and everyday.

i am one of a kind.
i am a miracle. 
and i thank you for the colours.

and that is not just saying.  bwahahaha!  

i am merry this christmas!
standing L to R:  manilyn, christian t., tintin, bidibidi, lalaine, alfred, marilyn, arnold, albert, sandy.   front L to R: christian b., cris, dino, jason, gilbert, pido.  not in the picture:  nicco, jam, babing, inggay, jen, virgie 


ps.  ilysm!  thank you for the colours!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

merry christmas, darling!

greeting cards have all been sent
the christmas rush is through
but i still have one wish to make
a special one for you

merry christmas, darling
we're apart that's true
but i can dream and in my dreams
i'm christmas-ing with you

holidays are joyful
there's always something new
but everyday's a holiday
when i'm near to you

the lights on my tree
i wish you could see
i wish it every day
logs on the fire
fill me with desire
to see you and to say

that i wish you merry christmas
happy new year, too
i've just one wish
on this christmas eve
i wish i were with you.

Friday, December 23, 2011

walking down the end of 2011

it was a day of quiet, a party tailor-made for introverts (though am a certified extro.  bwahahaha!), my own idea of best-day-ever.  
manilyn's bro albert came and picked her up to stay with their parents.  nicco is with her family, too, looking after her youngest sis, while jam takes care of their sick mom.  cris left for his island-home to spend christmas with his grandmother, who raised him since he was but a tot, after both his parents passed away.  jason stays with his young family and wife, who just gave birth to twins, yesterday morning.  sandy begged for a dayoff, he wants to celebrate the birthday of his youngest son. . . 

and so i had hours all to myself.  i forget how much i need it, the time.  the quiet.  the space.

i do not know how it is with you, but with me it is like this:  i put a lot of pressure on alone.  (however ironic it sounds, as i am alone, single, unattached, i never seem to have time alone for the self).  maybe it is because i spend so much time craving it, and so when it comes, i try to suck the life out of it.  i fail to let it breathe, when breathing is the very thing i need.  

i thought of the coming new year, how it is always the same, a run of the mill, but oh, so different, dissimilar.  i had planned to spend time planning (reason why i need that much-coveted starbucks planner.bwahahaha!). and praying about what lies ahead, about things that may make me twisted up and anxious and unfree.

finally, i surrendered to the quiet.  instead of planning and dealing with issues, i spent some time reading.  i read steve joy (thanks to the lovely person who lent the book to me), i read some posts by friends and a little about journal spilling (right, spilling.)  i read some of my previous journal entries, too, and how i enjoy doing that!  i was actually laughing!  bwahahaha!  the freedom of expression at its best!  

and before i knew it, my tired feet were heading towards the paths to my haven, leading to my refuge.

and in what most of you will call waste of time, one good person would call it beautiful waste of time, i walked.  and listened.  and captured the day happening around me.  The Force stands on his head, you know.  just when i think i finally have time to figure things out, he quiets me, instead.  just when i think it is my chance to pour out, i realize i have nothing i need to say.  no reason for me to weep.  i am so blessed and loved.

there can be fear, fear that the time i have is spilling through my fingers without a single minute counting, because i haven't written a goal, have not solved a problem, have not strung one word into two.  but there is great comfort in knowing that as i walk, he walks with me.  he reminds me that it is not about dealing with my problems, it is about remembering that he has already dealt with them.  it is about knowing and believing and receiving.

as this year quietly blends into the next, a week from now, i pray that i would find permission to be with him.  not necessarily for hours on end, but for time enough to push through the shame of inactivity that threatens to overwhelm when i let myself be still.  and in that place of quiet existence, i pray to be engulfed and swallowed up with a sense of belovedness.

and for the beautiful persons in my life:  thank you for your words, your reassurances, your humor, your wisdom, your youth.  may the new year bring more beautiful conversation and may the force provide you and me a place for our souls to breathe. . .  
ps.  thank you for the colours!  ilysm!