Thursday, December 31, 2015

i crave simple

after a week of parties, get-togethers and reunions, i head to my sanctuary to dip my brushes and do some splashes. i need to work off my pent-up  creative juices from all the sugars and the cholesterols. bwahahaha! not to mention the stress from occasional traffic congestion in the nearby city where i frequently get my dose of caffeine.
as i approach the new year, some hours from now, i bring myself to a reflective mood, here in my forest of dreams.
in the midst of the highly stimulated exterior world, i try to discover, or perhaps, the better way to put it is: rediscover, my interior world. how am getting rid of my soul's clutter that i no longer need? what would a de-clutttered soul feel like? maybe, just maybe, i would have:
more courage to move towards others in love, without a complicated agenda.
wisdom to begin to give up what i no longer need, like fear of the future or regret over the past.
willingness to face my silence within and not worry so much what i may or may not hear.

energy to be fully myself in the presence of others without fear, pretense, or defensiveness.
i do not know if it is realistic or even possible to live in constant state of simplicity. afterall, i am a complex creature - nervous system, circulatory system, digestive system, not to mention relationships, dreams, hurts and desires.  all these are parts of my human existence and not one of them is simple! bwahahaha! well, complex has its place, am sure.
but my soul is filled with clutter, what is meant to be complex and awe-inspiring can become complicated and exhausting. when that happens, i crave simple! 
life is good in its complexity! bwahahaha!

happy new year!

Saturday, December 26, 2015

after christmas thoughts

the night air snaps cold, some stray raindrop's kiss irreverent and heaven pushes close. . .i feel i can almost touch them, all these hiding stars. 
being alone is just a state of mind. hhhmmm, also being loved!
merry christmas to the person who loved me the most, state of mind or otherwise.