tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73577167409421177142024-03-23T20:18:25.004+08:00My Life is My Art My Art is My LifeMy life's works are not limited to my arts & crafts, my prose & poetry. . .
My life is enriched by the smiles, the tears, the handshakes, the pats on my back, and all the small gestures of the persons i meet everyday. . .
My life is mine to live, and am living it. . .Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.comBlogger318125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-47260727111594032502018-04-06T08:56:00.000+08:002018-04-08T16:59:04.144+08:00full circle<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><b>5 April 2018</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>68th Graduation Ceremonies</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Sta. Monica Academy </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>La Consolacion College, Baao,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Camarines Sur</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Two weeks ago, a week before Holy Week, the busiest week of the year for me, my Alma Mater sent me a message via Messenger thru The Principal, Azalia Peyra, and requested that I be the Graduation Guest Speaker and give an inspirational speech during the graduation rites of its Grade School Department.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Odd. Strange. Surprising. (I never get invited to speak in my own hometown. Bwahahaha!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Last week, I made a self-assessment and determined I do not need more training or experience in public speaking. Hhhmmm! What is the difference between this one speaking engagement than the one I did in Kathmandu, Nepal, when I talked about agriculture to the South Asian women? Or the women entrepreneurs of the APEC nations in Hue, Vietnam? This is easy! Bwahahaha! But as this day neared, I began to have panic attacks. What can I say to you, grade six students? And to you parents of these students? I was thinking, this is different. But, I take comfort in my belief that the universe will conspire to get you what you want, when you want it. I want you to hear my story, as I, some years ago, oh my! I was one just like you. I was Grade 6 Class Valedictorian of 1976, here in this school, the Sta. Monica Academy, now known as La Consolacion College. Ok, do the math! Bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Beloved Head of School, Sr. Angelita Baraero, OSA and members of her administrative staff, Members of the faculty, proud parents, and above all, the graduates. My congratulations!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I imagine that you are excited at graduating, a little scared of going to Highschool, sad about saying goodbye to friends and crushes, teachers and tutors, and excited about the summer. I also felt the same way when I was twelve.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Looking at your faces, at this school, at the teachers, I realize that everything has changed. And nothing has changed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But let me tell you, tomorrow will be the beginning of one of the most wonderful, memorable, exciting part of your lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So let me speak to you now as someone speaking to another who is starting on the most wonderful journey. But you have to listen, and you have to listen hard, bcause I am going to tell you some of the secrets to success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They are: Growth, Generosity, Gratitude and love of God. You can call them the 4G's. And they are the secrets to success.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The first is Growth. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is not physical growth. Physical growth comes naturally. But this growth I am talking about, you have to decide to effect it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Let me tell you about growth by telling you about Mulan. You all know Mulan's story. She wanted to defeat the Huns but she was a girl who did not know how to fight. She could not even carry a weapon! But she did not let that stop her. She practiced until she got so tired she could not practice anymore. The next day, she got up and practiced, she got beat up but she practiced, left hanging on a pole but practiced, got buried in snow but practiced. Before she knew it, she was China's hero.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What am I trying to say? The next years of your life will determine your future. Make the next years one of growth. Embrace growth. Find out what you are good at, find out what you like to do, your passion. And then grow. Practice. Practice some more. because here is another secret, if you practice, you can be anything you want to be. So do not be afraid! While you are at it, do not be afraid to fail.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Let me also tell you more about failure because it is important in growing. You all know about Michael Jordan, right? Or do you? Bwahahaha! He is the greatest basketball player of all time. Michael Jordan missed more than 9000 shots in his career, lost almost 300 games and missed 26 winning shots. He failed over and over and over again. But that is why he is the greatest basketball player in the world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The second is Generosity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You have to be generous, even overly generous, because here is the secret - if you give more, you will have more. We are all familiar with the sayings: it is better to give than to receive, or God loves a cheerful giver. You know they are all clues - clues to great riches, both material and spiritual, and they are all true. Because when you give, you release a powerful blessing and it embraces you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The third is Gratitude.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We say it every day: "Thank you". But we do not know how much power Thank You has. When you appreciate people and events and the things you have in your life, the whole universe jumps up and down and what it wants to do is to give you more. Try it. Say thank you more often, say it with every step, say it with your every prayer. You will be amazed at the wonderful surprises it will give you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">While we are at it, thank you for having me. It is really my great privilege to be in your presence today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The last G is for God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">God the power and source of all things. He is the reason why we are all here. He is your stronghold here in the present and in the future. He is great! and He loves you more than you know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So let me end with my wish for all of you. In your life, may you have people who will listen and spend time with you, encourage you and believe in you. May you embrace growth and excellence, may you be generous, may you say thank you often, may God watch over you. With this blessing, may you go forth and do wonderful things, and I am pretty sure: You are ready to face Life's Challenges. Again, my congratulations!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Life is good!</span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-70427854114647882742016-10-14T02:56:00.000+08:002016-10-14T02:56:05.298+08:00dear me<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">dear self and me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">really, it is going to be okay. you are going to be okay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">promise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">do you remember when you were sixteen with that ridiculous hair, and how you thought that by the time you get to here, to now, it was going to be good, everything would be good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">that by now, you would know in the very marrow of your bones what it is like to really live loved. that you would be known, fully known and wholly embraced.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">that the big dream would happen, that the peace and the purpose and the big point would be under your skin, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">that the awkward would be gone and that you would finally fit and that your life makes a real difference, you would make a real mark and you really matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">you do not have to worry, you will get to make at least one unforgettable mark. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">and everyday, with every word, you get to decide: do you mar the world or mark the world?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">it is always the smallest strokes that add up to the greatest masterpiece. because the thing is: do you even really know which mark you make that will matter most?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">and though you are weary and tired, you keep getting out of bed and believing that you will never leave the world until you leave your most beautiful mark.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJEcpAE_W-y4pZ6AYhO1xNBMmAsGQnOSPrzZC_gCtWOtZoXNCnDRSvUzX9kYyhATqC8LTlVu6E85Fo20b3UgydMmjDey2T9BYn4fb1LCfg4EEFWQ_s9qQtnZUOm28PwolFbvvsm6bKmaMC/s1600/IMG_20160925_142350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJEcpAE_W-y4pZ6AYhO1xNBMmAsGQnOSPrzZC_gCtWOtZoXNCnDRSvUzX9kYyhATqC8LTlVu6E85Fo20b3UgydMmjDey2T9BYn4fb1LCfg4EEFWQ_s9qQtnZUOm28PwolFbvvsm6bKmaMC/s400/IMG_20160925_142350.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">so just for today, keep going, keep believing that it is all working out okay. and that you are not alone in your story.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">you are going to be okay and you will laugh and sing and dance a bit today. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">me</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-89025036976736142862016-10-12T21:51:00.000+08:002016-10-12T22:00:18.929+08:00beloved<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">i grieve for never having found the one, or if i did, for letting go. and yet, walking my dog in the woods, i feel this way about the forest: the forest is my beloved. </span><br />
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Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-54035386625942409882016-03-28T14:18:00.004+08:002016-04-25T11:16:23.531+08:00the raya school of naga<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">19 march 2016</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">st. jude orchard clubhouse</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">naga city</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">school heads, teachers, parents, my dear graduates, good afternoon!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD4ZUKUvn23G3LbahQVi8aUJ0jeRBrKdM8nI1L4PmA9D7YTtE6RKzXOqXKnrHHJ3IUwg5hwXZQwdtvi2yTmKz5sUIiIuwlVTOmUfV6jBgjuKdL-Tb8XXN6SMSBbFdizeIK6eLP39WnVST6/s1600/20160319_143111-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD4ZUKUvn23G3LbahQVi8aUJ0jeRBrKdM8nI1L4PmA9D7YTtE6RKzXOqXKnrHHJ3IUwg5hwXZQwdtvi2yTmKz5sUIiIuwlVTOmUfV6jBgjuKdL-Tb8XXN6SMSBbFdizeIK6eLP39WnVST6/s400/20160319_143111-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">i do not have words to describe my reaction when teacher bel told me she was inviting me to do this task of speaking here before you, young graduates, and you parents of these cuties. i have never been invited to do a task as, shall i say, delicate, as this. i have been speaker to numerous engagements and talked myriad topics, but never to kids as young as you are. i have often wondered what it is or how it is to have a child, how to rear a child. i can only guess. at first, i was hesitant to do this, after much thought and prayers, yes, prayers, i accepted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">i mentioned earlier that this is a delicate task. it is because i am pretty much aware that a kid's mind is like a sponge and can absorb anything and everything that comes its way. what i will say now, will hopefully remain in your minds and hearts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">graduates, i am talking to you as a farmer, an artist, an environmentalist, a social entrepreneur and a citizen of the universe. big words. you will understand what those words mean, later. maybe even later in life. so many hats i wear. and i wear them all at the same time, all the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">your school, the raya school of naga, has provided you with the atmosphere and environment that honed and sharpened your potentials to be all those.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">your parents have the open minds and hearts to see the sights beyond the much-used box. they have not only opened a window for you where you can see the world, but also have paved and are still paving your paths with the hope and conviction that you be constructive citizens, balanced individuals, humane, productive, democratic, moral and creative, and a student of integrity. this is not just a special thrust in education. this is a crucial and most needed thrust in education in this country of ours. if i were the deped secretary, i will go for this! sadly, i am not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">listen to these words i will yel you now:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">never lose your sense of country. be proud filipinos. we are a great race! do not give up your citizenship, who knows, someday, you would be running for the highest in the land?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">be proud of the colour of your skin! don't you know that this colour of skin gives us the lowest risk of skin cancer?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">grow wings and fly high, aim for the stars!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">let your imagination go wild! who would have thought we could fly to the moon and back?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">nurture your creative spiriy. our country's ills can only be cured by a creative leader. you are our country's future.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIK6SXEQevzl8H87ankL4Xhggilkp0YRqX-PP9_QTtWvlR7iVZYA15cCsWw6Fd7THLlxTkaiZ3V7_EbRu98KMOxURVt3iVjLvRSJti-S8bNnJz79x93QWCnc3LP5cQCOSLG-CdqHhE7ql_/s1600/20160319_154324-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIK6SXEQevzl8H87ankL4Xhggilkp0YRqX-PP9_QTtWvlR7iVZYA15cCsWw6Fd7THLlxTkaiZ3V7_EbRu98KMOxURVt3iVjLvRSJti-S8bNnJz79x93QWCnc3LP5cQCOSLG-CdqHhE7ql_/s400/20160319_154324-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">i go to a lot of schools, both public and private and in every visit, i can only cry in dismay and helplessness. the quality or the lack of it, in our educational system, makes me cry. but i never lose hope. being here with you now, gives me a new sense of hope. a different light shines at the end of a long dark tunnel.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">before i end my speech, i would like to share with you an experience: in july of 2014, my farm in baao was devastated by typhoon glenda. after years of nurturing my trees, my plants, after years of planting and grooming my forest of dreams, an overnight lashing from an angry mother nature brought most of my trees down. the morning after was the most dreaded morning! the sight of my farm brought me to tears and down on my knees. it took weeks with a crew of seven, to clear and clean the area. after the cleaning and clearing up acticvities, i was left with a heap of broken branches and broken twigs. i didn't want to use them as just fuel, i had to wear the hats i mentioned earlier, all at the same time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">as a farmer, i had to replant and use branches to fence my farm,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">as an artist, i hand-painted the wooden discs i asked my farm help to make for me,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">as an environmentalist, i do not burn leaves, instead make compost for fertilizing and mulching to protect the roots of the trees,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">as a social entrepreneur, i commissioned local artists to paint on more wooden discs and provide them with a simple livelihood, hired some artisans to make organic fashion accessories, (am wearing one now)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">and as a citizen of the universe, i planted more trees and in doing so, provide more oxygen for everyone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">let life's circumstances bring out the best in you. life's storms may break your trees'branches, but do not let the storms break your spirit!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">as gifts, i would like to give each of you a hand-painted wooden disc magnet and one blank wooden disc magnet that you can paint on and make you remember the day you met me and the day you recieved your diploma from the raya school of naga.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">thank you!</span></div>
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Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-25162387098231996482015-12-31T13:40:00.000+08:002015-12-31T15:45:47.451+08:00i crave simple<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">after a week of parties, get-togethers and reunions, i head to my sanctuary to dip my brushes and do some splashes. i need to work off my pent-up creative juices from all the sugars and the cholesterols. bwahahaha! not to mention the stress from occasional traffic congestion in the nearby city where i frequently get my dose of caffeine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">as i approach the new year, some hours from now, i bring myself to a reflective mood, here in my forest of dreams.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfyId73jROx-J95Yk9CVLdTpGWj-GS8lPpNmJTiWPYpRsWM1sW9Tj9JXdUI7jfpsm-g11NB7LYwinlOeVR2GRKkocwNXw0L9S7UvN8E-dtBbE2hmpHB9Tv68xnL_Fux-UGKZjkgpYo_vw9/s1600/20151230_144344.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfyId73jROx-J95Yk9CVLdTpGWj-GS8lPpNmJTiWPYpRsWM1sW9Tj9JXdUI7jfpsm-g11NB7LYwinlOeVR2GRKkocwNXw0L9S7UvN8E-dtBbE2hmpHB9Tv68xnL_Fux-UGKZjkgpYo_vw9/s400/20151230_144344.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">in the midst of the highly stimulated exterior world, i try to discover, or perhaps, the better way to put it is: rediscover, my interior world. how am getting rid of my soul's clutter that i no longer need? what would a de-clutttered soul feel like? maybe, just maybe, i would have:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">more courage to move towards others in love, without a complicated agenda.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">wisdom to begin to give up what i no longer need, like fear of the future or regret over the past.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">willingness to face my silence within and not worry so much what i may or may not hear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmKVBqri2OJzdx6BsZWOPc6STxTEp-C4zIz3ekPQHhvztS6PXnXfTzeguDZDhUu-Cp19e2rzXT57SUqmnoRDF2fXOO2ZK8zRfCiK1hJNWmSPzKKEBp_p53-qEfcsO3DmmCtAQZ2IDjKYF1/s1600/20151230_144448.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmKVBqri2OJzdx6BsZWOPc6STxTEp-C4zIz3ekPQHhvztS6PXnXfTzeguDZDhUu-Cp19e2rzXT57SUqmnoRDF2fXOO2ZK8zRfCiK1hJNWmSPzKKEBp_p53-qEfcsO3DmmCtAQZ2IDjKYF1/s400/20151230_144448.jpg" width="225" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">energy to be fully myself in the presence of others without fear, pretense, or defensiveness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i do not know if it is realistic or even possible to live in constant state of simplicity. afterall, i am a complex creature - nervous system, circulatory system, digestive system, not to mention relationships, dreams, hurts and desires. all these are parts of my human existence and not one of them is simple! bwahahaha! well, complex has its place, am sure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">but my soul is filled with clutter, what is meant to be complex and awe-inspiring can become complicated and exhausting. when that happens, i crave simple! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">life is good in its complexity! bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">happy new year!</span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-81282708940353174802015-12-26T07:55:00.000+08:002015-12-26T08:02:32.678+08:00after christmas thoughts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the night air snaps cold, some stray raindrop's kiss irreverent and heaven pushes close. . .i feel i can almost touch them, all these hiding stars. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihhyHunJMd19fr7YenQC-PIdNlIaQ7w-K7fWefpJFc1tkEeUz9WparfWysQkHa87mfl8H50L6haba6ESIyUeIj1Lhkch-zAYz20p6o33qtMOYxaukghSpHIinzUhv9lsticw-gfXuq7xIf/s1600/20151224_103400-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihhyHunJMd19fr7YenQC-PIdNlIaQ7w-K7fWefpJFc1tkEeUz9WparfWysQkHa87mfl8H50L6haba6ESIyUeIj1Lhkch-zAYz20p6o33qtMOYxaukghSpHIinzUhv9lsticw-gfXuq7xIf/s400/20151224_103400-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">being alone is just a state of mind. hhhmmm, also being loved!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">merry christmas to the person who loved me the most, state of mind or otherwise.</span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-58942383245955257972015-08-17T11:03:00.000+08:002015-08-17T11:03:13.911+08:00because life is never still<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b>because life is never still: </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b>bidibidi's cups and saucers</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.businessmirror.com.ph/because-life-is-never-still-bidibidis-cups-and-saucers/">tito valiente</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">business mirror 11 august 2015</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it has been only a few months since i wrote bernadette de los santos's trees and flowers. the artist is known by her nom d'amour "bidibidi". the name, with due respect to that choice, cannot contain the passion that the artist exhibits with her work. she has a heart for artists and, one day, i requested that she share her thoughts on the creative process with my graduate students on art criticism and critical thinking. the course title is a mouthful and i know how artists - true artists - really dread articulating on art and the processes that go with that endeavor and enterprise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">still, bidibidi granted my request. she was joined by the other bikol artists whose works i have reviewed for this page: boyet abrenica and nuns bancaso. the venue was "que pasa?", a restaurant that as become a gathering of artists in the area.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">bidibidi was there because she was finishing up a project: to paint on the archivaults of "que pasa?". she was assigned the mexican writer laura esquivel, who is noted for "like water for chocolate". we cannot speak of how tricky this task can be. to paint with the texts and ouvre of a particular literary figure in mind cannot be merely illustrative. one must be able to recall the persuasion of that work and her representative works, if there are any.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">that evening, bidibidi showed me on the lower portion of a curvilinear space flowers rich in color but with no remembrance of lust and desire. lovely blooms they were in the soft tone of that modifier.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">as i turned around, on the wall where the escutcheon of "que pasa?" was displayed were small, unframed paintings. from afar, they were all about cups and saucers. they were engaging to the eye because of the soft hues. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">whose were these?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">they were bidibidi's paintings. and they were quite unlike the mystical trees and forests that i had written about earlier. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for students of art, the still-life painting is the most accessible of academic exercises. bidibidi however, once more "problematizes" the label as she gives us cups ans saucers and glasses graceful in their unwashed stages. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the pieces are about colors and tonalities. but the title is not about the entire tone washing the canvas but certain objects that stand out because of their placement. the pieces show the technical grasp of bidibidi with regard to the medium and the message. the translucence of certain glasses are achieved. the weight of cups placed over each other is sheer vision of gravity and a sly work on physics.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the artist, as with her other works, is never scared of color. she mixes them, turns glasses and cups into crayola green and red. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">all of these accoutrements are situated on tables with backdrops that are textured and lighted by unseen source. the direction of the lighting doesn't promise thranscendence. the artist has no plans to evoke sentimentality or any kind of emotion. that is what i prize about this collection. however muted the colors and the bjects, one is made to think of the persons absent from the frame. but we know the humans behind the colors, the hands that placed the cups and saucers, the mind that left those objects in such skewed placement. that is where the feeling of the pieces evoke. these emotions that are so ordinary in that they are of the everyday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">in the works of bidibidi, the quotidian, as that line from a poem states, will have its day. the cups become objects of sensation; the drinking glasses of different colors are there for contemplation. art starts from these techniques and we are grateful for bidibidi that, if in the past she allowed us into her forests and flowers, she now ushers us into walls and tables, with utensils that are magnified beyond utilization and into first lines of verses. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the apples and the pears are all there like friends to the ordinary persona of these things we use to drink water, milk and chocolate. now, that is a wonderful feeling, nothing extraordinary but special anyway because of the rediscovery of the power of color and ordinary objects.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-47469163399259405662015-06-28T10:01:00.001+08:002015-06-28T10:01:28.865+08:00blues <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">my fave colour has always been blue, not that i do not like the other hues, oh my, i love the entire palette. but again, i must say, my fave colour has always been blue.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for this weekend, i have these thoughts on blue:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may the blues of clear skies appear to meet me in the morn, from the pale salt of the eastern sea to the cerulean depths of the western night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i not be afraid to dive into the deep cold waters of not knowing. when the initial stun feels like too much, may i soon adjust to the change and be enlivened with oomphn and hope!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i see the blues of summer as a necessary detail to the learnings am willing to take. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i be willing to take all.</span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-75434533255785465582015-06-08T19:57:00.000+08:002015-06-08T19:57:27.052+08:00let the weekend end the week<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for the weekend that just passed, i let it do what it must - end the week. and my sunday fun and reverie make me reflect on the joys, the losses, the conversations and the everyday routines i have just lived through. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i learn, almost always, that i only have to keep what i need from them and leave the rest gently in the past.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and as my first embroidery and sewing session with creative women come to pass, i let the sunday take a rest. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i look forward with courage towards the week to come, my arms open to all that it might have to offer, trusting the future into the hands of the force that be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">life is good!</span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-10212143241040444262015-05-17T13:02:00.000+08:002015-05-17T13:02:27.568+08:00bidibidi's la huerta<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>bidibidi's la huerta</b></span><div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">by <a href="http://www.businessmirror.com.ph/bidibidis-la-huerta/">tito genova valiente</a></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">business mirror, life/lifestyle section</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">12 may 2015</span></b><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFjYMwsNd8-hVhmOwxpXkPA760aMCI7SGG2L165VQl6eEb8COPzxrGwc9fj2jqVm_mJugAQeKVeVPZqxIyN75qm45Hl2nBfSyvnZS57VKPzBG6Y4hVeRf1JiADmz_GQ4fUwio_4kOhkFvs/s1600/052.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFjYMwsNd8-hVhmOwxpXkPA760aMCI7SGG2L165VQl6eEb8COPzxrGwc9fj2jqVm_mJugAQeKVeVPZqxIyN75qm45Hl2nBfSyvnZS57VKPzBG6Y4hVeRf1JiADmz_GQ4fUwio_4kOhkFvs/s400/052.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bidibidi's "fragility has its own intensity"</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-d0QXB0QrTwqMl7lpziZVGrd9gfjqSHy8LF_uwErapOUm5jbUBokupMeRTu30MyY1lzAsuE0M-uN0GLNrwxfuK41pPWoyQ9DkozkdG3Hjco7T_0wpCjZqSu_ZwF4Col1N7SDSGgLcerf/s1600/016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-d0QXB0QrTwqMl7lpziZVGrd9gfjqSHy8LF_uwErapOUm5jbUBokupMeRTu30MyY1lzAsuE0M-uN0GLNrwxfuK41pPWoyQ9DkozkdG3Hjco7T_0wpCjZqSu_ZwF4Col1N7SDSGgLcerf/s400/016.jpg" width="391" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bidibidi's "leafless, listless"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in photo: bidibidi's fragility has its own intesity and her forests, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">which are arresting in their solace and shadow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">bidibidi has a garden, which she calls La Huerta. bidibidi has paintings and they are all about the blooms and colors in her garden.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">La Huerta, the spanish term for "vegetable garden," is more than that. it is a pocket forest along the highway going to a place called Baao in Camarines Sur, Bicol. the place is an artist's haven, a refuge if you want to dramatize how artists - visual artists in particular - in this country do not have a room or a studio of their own.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">every now and then, bidibidi would hold intimate parties to welcome guests from nearby cities or towns. sometimes, i get this sense that the celebration is for no reason at all. the celebration is the reason for the celebration. in these gatherings, blooms are on the tables. it is not rare that the lowly quotidian fruit, the macopa, is presented. the sense of color then becomes remarkable as the guests appraise the tenderest of pastel on the skin of the fruit.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmUCzgaYVgDMLYdY0qnZ3vDhmey8igXicqmThRTJSyVfeEQ6RwRqB_3BadksoKFiHeSqr2e8NjKEg7dIJNoATx4Yk4aH0xWbi6AjHCBdCWztSnRJs16c6R7g-4pEJrU5F9BvmHkJJRaqsB/s1600/018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmUCzgaYVgDMLYdY0qnZ3vDhmey8igXicqmThRTJSyVfeEQ6RwRqB_3BadksoKFiHeSqr2e8NjKEg7dIJNoATx4Yk4aH0xWbi6AjHCBdCWztSnRJs16c6R7g-4pEJrU5F9BvmHkJJRaqsB/s400/018.jpg" width="387" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bidibidi's "the forest is a woman"</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs8An9NQOwnUKKDCs1ILaiQ2UJIdyYcpA89RLc5Z4jCIdglW9JUMP6aBvJo-uqnQ0VNh814sixVaEv5ncUO7wSYTHAvBwAhnUC2cEkWqpRfMogU-feXB2glBmYwYhjDuonpU55ZhcXCRwS/s1600/019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs8An9NQOwnUKKDCs1ILaiQ2UJIdyYcpA89RLc5Z4jCIdglW9JUMP6aBvJo-uqnQ0VNh814sixVaEv5ncUO7wSYTHAvBwAhnUC2cEkWqpRfMogU-feXB2glBmYwYhjDuonpU55ZhcXCRwS/s400/019.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bidibidi's " paths cross"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">that tenderness, such fragility, the ephemera of leaves and flowers are in this collection of paintings of bidibidi.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">one such work bears the title "fragility has its own intensity." in her garden, flowers are of consequence; they are not the helpless decor that we think always of them to be. even as the artist shades the lilac and the ochre and the red, the petals are stubborn shapes suffusing the frame. behind them is a backdrop of faint yellow and light green, but they do not matter for the flowers have conquered the space.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">in "dawn awaits." we encounter the profusion of blooms again, but they seem to give way to a brightening of the horizon. still strong, the flowers stand to the side.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj8a7fwJGHuipUK5o7wP7QoZBgjX-abA4EIXAWBrMpHJ9eFBoqqs9APAinNjSzOgitf2lFUi4ANnGoFvkrPBD_ZbT-B6INEUQZRvSYPljrY5ip6iDquT4bc3LA_h3fxxabsZ2RGSKWkDLS/s1600/053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj8a7fwJGHuipUK5o7wP7QoZBgjX-abA4EIXAWBrMpHJ9eFBoqqs9APAinNjSzOgitf2lFUi4ANnGoFvkrPBD_ZbT-B6INEUQZRvSYPljrY5ip6iDquT4bc3LA_h3fxxabsZ2RGSKWkDLS/s400/053.jpg" width="392" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bidibidi's "dawan awaits"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">a piece called "too much one, too much each other," bidibidi manipulates the practice of a diptych without resorting to two panels. a yellow green backdrop on the left, one notices, is slightly narrower than the blue backdrop on the right. the flowers are separated also with six forming a bouquet on the blue side and two on the left. the humor is not lost on the tradition of giving flowers, where less is more but where more is really also more given a different occasion.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimAY2U98v3mECecazCyaFT0NnzBDq6GyNSP7SZdpRNvZtNhi8_2uZ667LrEw4B802mvsMI0w4MdB2Okp2PF61dYErHFODTZZnPAazpjkwhtZ3z3A6rRhQkRg4mDSJvACmlgqSRDkntXcP9/s1600/054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimAY2U98v3mECecazCyaFT0NnzBDq6GyNSP7SZdpRNvZtNhi8_2uZ667LrEw4B802mvsMI0w4MdB2Okp2PF61dYErHFODTZZnPAazpjkwhtZ3z3A6rRhQkRg4mDSJvACmlgqSRDkntXcP9/s400/054.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bidibidi's " too much one, too much each other"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">however, i particularly covet the trees of the artist. where bidibidi's flowers are strong and vitally organic in shapes, her trees are arresting in their solace and shadow. textured and zoetic even without the foliage, the trees of bidibidi are the full narrative of our ecology.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">in bidibidi's woodland, the trees form a cluster of a small forest but each trunk stands singular because of their form and their color. in a grouping of mauve trees surrounded by blue and dark green trunks and twigs, a yellow gnarled trunk twists and rises from the ground that carries the same pale yellow color. then you realize: it is the sun filtering and singling out a tree.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">in another pairing of trees, six stumps - the middle gloomy red and deep green, the leftmost growth in pallid eggyoke and the rightmost towering in near black shade - are seen amid a cloud of what looks like foliage or a mass of soil. the impact of the arrangement is one of caution and concern. but the artist is not saying anything; she is making us feel something in the forest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">in another forest, bidibidi's images for us thin trees. are they dying or growing? a blue backdrop is the only heavenly item within this frame where growth and decay seemingly form two sides in the life-coin.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpjqr0xj-BQ4mOeLFzwhL-SuJOE3dtqDMW-mK1GC-NNja1rDa1IAAQUxON9DFPnFa12brEWpH4pA9RShY_vMeGAhpiBWxTniK3ntfQPmPHUU4VJOVIfTdDQon7RXepjb4Cv1WDGeiWNXbK/s1600/017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="390" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpjqr0xj-BQ4mOeLFzwhL-SuJOE3dtqDMW-mK1GC-NNja1rDa1IAAQUxON9DFPnFa12brEWpH4pA9RShY_vMeGAhpiBWxTniK3ntfQPmPHUU4VJOVIfTdDQon7RXepjb4Cv1WDGeiWNXbK/s400/017.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bidibidi's "when the river runs dry"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the works of bidibidi, without diminishing her own authenticity, reminds me of another bicolana artist, the Italy-based Lina Llaguno-Ciani. where Ciani's works are marked by distinct minimalism (her works have been described as "surrealism without angst"), bidibidi's trees and flowers subjugate a palette of colors. bidibidi is a neo-Fauvist, in love with all kinds of colors and shades.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i have always wanted to write about this artist mainly because i admire her concern for new artists. i have seen her La Huerta, the empirical garden in her farm.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">her service to art, however, is in her ability to color the growth in forests that are either vanishing or becoming, and to pay tribute to the vain and valiant flora in her mind.</span></div>
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Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-12699028109287146832015-05-05T05:38:00.000+08:002015-05-05T09:48:09.957+08:00the flowers in my forest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrv8QUzfaJrdrJ5RlWHSQraW65x-JtCABQ9KjLU-_Pod_nhRpCotMaQ6NW-EyaUDSBu3Sp1Rl-hnD2OBCpisJmwmVsQWxDohsr6QqyXOhVAFkkAFeW07d3xpHRtOrsYcrr7rOoHt3bk9uz/s1600/004a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrv8QUzfaJrdrJ5RlWHSQraW65x-JtCABQ9KjLU-_Pod_nhRpCotMaQ6NW-EyaUDSBu3Sp1Rl-hnD2OBCpisJmwmVsQWxDohsr6QqyXOhVAFkkAFeW07d3xpHRtOrsYcrr7rOoHt3bk9uz/s400/004a.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4vNjZzI56mpUfMOr5sPuPGXFYPOlkwStR8YKWhWAAiCqgv-Rtq7BrXYZ81qIvbe9BPuJTmbSyp1MQBfiz9LjghwHRya_8nqzJiOlvbz19PBak7A0qs5ZSnYAecGHtarKW9jklHR9zcQtr/s1600/050.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4vNjZzI56mpUfMOr5sPuPGXFYPOlkwStR8YKWhWAAiCqgv-Rtq7BrXYZ81qIvbe9BPuJTmbSyp1MQBfiz9LjghwHRya_8nqzJiOlvbz19PBak7A0qs5ZSnYAecGHtarKW9jklHR9zcQtr/s400/050.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i spent the entire month of april in the dirt, when i say that, i do not mean literally. i mean, i was along the flower beds and the garden in my forest. i was working on the series i wanted to include in the solo exhibit scheduled to open on my birthday: "living in colour".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">every after my dips and splashes with the brush, i doubt i have ever washed my hands more, and the tiny cracks in my fingers seem permanently darkened, or at least for a day or two, until i start with the next canvass and the stain on my skin gets another hue. i cannot wash it all away, and i do not want to. these stains remind me of who i am.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the gloaming twilight of life</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i am a farmer, and an artist. not necessarily in that order. i am married to this land. and with vows one take to the altar, too: for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to eternity and beyond. . .ooops! bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and this commitment with the land i am in, every seed or root is in a give-and-take relationship with me. i plant and water and feed good compost, and the plant grows and gives me fruit or something beautiful to lay my eyes on. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the soft seduction of lost hopes</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">this kind of life feels like the original intention for my life. i was made for this! this is part of the poem the force must have written about me, and now it is coming to pass: i was always to be a flower lady and a woman with dirt in her skin. literally and figuratively. bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">my truth of being in the tropics has nothing to do with what or how i grow my flowers. i bask in the freedom of my imagination! afterall, there is no way to control one's mind and heart, is there? bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">such valiant wit</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so i grow my poppies to take colours that fill my desires. i can make them blush to the hottest pink or the deepest red when i want to, or bend and sway them to impossibility. i can grow them with my trees, where there is not a ray of sun among them, or maybe let them climb with vines to heights no one has ever reached! i can form tight buds waiting in suspense to unveil. not once did i doubt that they will bloom into myriad of colours, shapes and sizes. they take form in however i want them to be. what a sight! the edges of the fiercest yellow widened until fists of petals opened like offerings for the taking. take me! i hear myself saying that out loud.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">nothing makes my life more beautiful than it already is. who else can will a room to overflow with blooms? these flowers in my forest, i can smell their mysterious scents when i wake up and they lead me right where they are planted. from my studio, i can smell their invigorating scents, fresh, welcoming, inviting, tempting. take me!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the heroic jig</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">looking at them lined up on the walls of my gallery, i find myself thinking: these flowers, their beauty is beyond what is real. i hold one against the light, i realize defiantly, they will not wilt, never. they look so right with the trees in my forest, oblivious of storms brewing up somewhere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i walk back through the gaps between my trees, look for my real flowers and the thought takes my breath away: the blooms come from abiding, from letting the root do what it does.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i love this life that gasps at the frangipanis by the paths beside my forest and the marigolds and cosmos popping their heads out of greens of lined herbs and spices. let it be that i see beauty in my own life like this. it is mine, but it does not belong to me. the flowers fade, but the blooms in my heart's forest - these are the things that last forever.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the flowers in my forest 4/n</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and life is good!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-64069009430730335952015-03-16T22:48:00.000+08:002015-03-16T22:48:40.614+08:00the wisdom of staying silent<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">been holding up too long. been keeping tight-lipped about how i feel. even when i feel like bursting. i have been telling myself too long, it is not worth it, to be shedding these tears.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and there are moments that i would believe all the pain is just part of it. well, if love is so wonderful, why does it give so much pain?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for the past weekend, i begged for courage, that i may embrace truth and speak up, hold firm and move forward without forsaking the wisdom of staying silent, letting go and walking away.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i walk away.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">liberating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-959807517305332942015-02-09T15:12:00.001+08:002015-02-09T15:56:25.376+08:00the empress of cool<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b>the empress of cool</b></i></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">agora magazine "saud issue"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">vol. 1, issue 2, january 2015</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">words: <b>jay salvosa</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">art direction: <b>paolo sumayao</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">photography:<b> santy calalay</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">hair & make-up: <b>marck pabilona</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Briefly go through her body of works, her big feats of little wonders and call her Bidibidi (a play on her name's initials) and for once forget she was once a Bernadette. As a child, her fingers found mutual affinity with the paintbrush and sewing materials - her idea of beauty in the realms of cotton and canvas is one truth she held on to. Art contests after art contests her recognition came. She was on the road t fame.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">And so it seemed.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">H</span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">er passion, however, was put on a momentary halt right after high school. Though it felt right that she take up fine arts in college, her mother - who settled that art does not put food on the table - made the young, carefree, albeit heartbroken artist to enroll in a course distant from her interests. She went to take up Business Management at the Ateneo de Manila University, and earned her degree in 1984.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">She then joined prestigious organizations such as Pfizer, Zuellig and PAGCOR, providing her the opportunity to travel and see the world. One might assume that at this point there is just no way she would ever go back to her one true love - it has paid for a lifestyle she was very happy about. The universe, however, has its way of putting people back into the arms of their first loves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">In the late nineties, she decided to take up Elementary Education as a second course. One summer afternoon, in an art class, she found herself reunited once again with the paintbrush, which somehow reigniting her primordial skills and interests, her rigor and passion towards the Arts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Her big break happened across trans-pacific seas in 2002, when she viewed an exhibit in Monterey. Perhaps it was due to her deep fascination, or her immaculate style sensibilities or an aura of childlike curiosity which exuded, that made the Seaside City Mayor take note of her while she was examining the paintings. It was a fateful tete-a-tete - he asked her if she's open to the idea of mounting her first exhibit. After exchanging interesting points, the conversation led to her meeting with the commissioner, she was able to set an appointment with a panel and underwent an interview that would make all other panel interviews a simple conversation over tea. The rest, as they say it, is history. In 2003, she showcased her watercolour paintings and for the first time in many years and in a country foreign to her, she held up herself as an artist. She sold pieces after the exhibit and went home a changed person.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Picking-up the Pieces: La Huerta de Rosario</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">What steered bidibidi further to her calling, however, came in the form of a sad passing - her mother passed away in 2004. Armed with nothing but a certain business acumen, paint-stained brushes and a few canvases, she inherited the responsibility of taking over their immense land. Why, she could have hired tenants to take care of the land, but bidibidi took a different, more challenging path. With her inner creative gears turning, she saw the farm as a canvas, as a medium, her definitive ouevre, hectares of land with great potential. She had an epiphany one morning and it was as if angels announced it in hymns; she is to become an artisan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Aside from having affinity with art, Bidibidi also had a latent green thumb (perhaps something which she had inherited from her late father who was a coconut farmer), that she planted the first trees herself at the farm. She began from scratch and backed her actions with research, perhaps free seminars through the Department of Agriculture. Her resources being limited at that time, the free seminars opened her eyes to the proper, more environment-friendly processes of cultivating the land. She was on the road to build an agricultural empire where business worked for nature's bounty (and not the other way around) but she went further: there's just so much to share to her community and hence the farm became an open enterprise of sorts. La Huerta de Rosario (Spanish for Rosario's Garden) was born out of this need. La Huerta goes beyond one's usual farming experience. The four-hectare lot also serves as a creative space, a conduit of untapped possibilities. People go to La Huerta not just to learn the right ways of planting crops, but also to share their passion and expertise on several fields via seminars and workshops. Visitors can also order food using ingredients fresh out of the farm.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Managing the farm is never easy though, especially when it sits on a region frequented by typhoons. In 2006, La Huerta de Rosario experienced its first massive damage due to typhoon, and they were only able to fully recover a year later. Recently in 2014, it took another hit from typhoon glenda, but due to previous experience, they were ready and recovered quickly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Farm & F.A.R.M.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Bidibidi's seemingly endless energy is not only spent on La Huerta's logistic requirements though. During her free time, she gives attention to her other love - fashion - specifically on earthy, kitschy accessories. Ever wondered how it began? She has initially honed her craft in patchwork - a centuries-old sewing technique where one sews together different types and prints of fabrics to create a tapestry with vivid patterns. She collects fabrics from old clothes (usually from various sources such as the ukay-ukay). Whenever she deconstructs them she would keep the buttons, zippers, etc. Her little collection of buttons grew. When she showed her collection to a visiting friend from Canada, and with the same level of fascination for crafts she had, her friend taught Bidibidi how to make accessories out of these buttons.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">This nifty new skill sparked an enterprise. With a market ready for eco-friendly pieces, Bidibidi found herself selling her bracelets made of buttons, and through social media (yes, even word-of-mouth), sales have been consistently solid. Her business venture has progressed into F.A.R.M. (Fabulously & Absolutely Rural-Made) enterprise, tapping both social and environmental sensibilities. from patchworks and buttons, her products have expanded to bags, rings, ornaments, sandals, and even apparel. Recently, she had the idea of incorporating hand-woven fabrics from Buhi into her works and even showcased her pieces in a fashion show last year.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Through this creative endeavour, she is able to weave new purpose from old fabrics, deconstructing forgotten beauty and reconstructing them into new opuses. Her beliefs on life and nature are well reflected on the intense vibrancy of her products. When one visits The F.A.R.M. Shoppe in her home, or at other various local and regional trade fairs, one can sense that immense vibrancy manifested by the strong colours of her trinkets and shop design. Her media mileage goes from social media, a blog she keeps religiously, and television features thus building a solid following, with the figures growing by the minute.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Cafe des Artes. Art as Giving Back</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Putting both her passion and vocation in full circle is her return to the canvass. A few years ago, aside from La Huerta, Bidibidi has also provided another creative space: Cafe des Artes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">On a number of instances one would find Bidibidi silently working on a canvas in her spare time. On other instances, one would be in awe of her well-curated collection of works gained from her travels. Initially she envisioned her home as a space to put up her works, a personal gallery of sorts. In 2010, she commissioned five local artists to design her wood posts. The five artists arrived in the same level of awe as a fan in front of a bencab piece, even an amorsolo. It was a moment that someone raised the subject of the art space, or the lack thereof. It was the perfect proposition - she invited the artists to collect and catalog their best works for an exhibit at Bidibidi's home. In august of the same year, Cafe des Artes had its first exhibit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">The exhibit was successful and its news was about to go downtown and into the busy streets of Baao. Other artists tried to reach her, requesting a reprise, to have their works showcased. The request was granted and their exhibit was opened in December of the same year. This has also become a contributing factor to the birth of a local group, the Burikbutikan, which Bidibidi is also a member.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">A few kilometers from La Huerta, the gallery's structure provides this charming vibe of wood and stone, an old house of memories embracing both old and new. A door in the Cafe also leads to a colourful space containing F.A.R.M. products for sale and other paintings which are not included in the exhibit. Until now, the rotation of showcased artworks at the Cafe des Artes has been constant and consistent, and more artists have benefitted much thanks to the gallery.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">The key to Bidibidi's unrivaled success is her unwavering energy empowered by her passion for the Arts - something people her age can definitely learn from her. Her hands-on approach to the business, however, is the champion of organizational leaders and it seems that her supreme stint at business school proved her mother right this whole time. Whenever she is on her hometown, she is always at the farm, meticulously surveying the property and carefully nurturing the plants. For her, presence is very important, as she herself would be there to personally welcome the guests and share the stories about the farm and her art. Bidibidi serves as the life core, the ambassadress, the connoiseur, the ringleader, the nurturer - the mother who takes care of her children, her creations.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">What makes Bidibidi's ventures so valuable is that it involves everything she is passionate about: art, spirituality and respect to the environment, and the love of her hometown Baao. She likes to get people involved, to participate in her art and advocacy. Her F.A.R.M. has already helped several people, providing livelihood and scholarship to the many men and women in Baao, showing them how valuable they are in life's grand design. She is the one and only Grandmother Willow - the barks on her will remind you of her as a tree that never stopped growing.</span><br />
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Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-34749784138799168082015-01-04T10:35:00.000+08:002015-01-04T10:35:11.825+08:00ruminate and envisage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">as i mull over and ruminate on the year that just recently zoomed past, and envisage and visualize the year that has just come, i have these pleas and entreaties:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i walk willingly into the great mystery that is the force.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i learn to accept that there is not always a why, a how or a lesson. but that there is always you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and there is always love!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">life is good! </span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-13043097138666756212014-12-31T15:50:00.003+08:002014-12-31T15:50:26.597+08:00ordinarily extraordinary<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">am an ordinary person,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so i am not a politician, i am not running for an office or married to a mayor. i am an artist, a farmer, a teacher and a dreamer. i have insecurities, dirty grout and a stinky adorable dog. and i am changing the world!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">but i think differently</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">maybe i have to be crazy. how else can one stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? or sit in silence and hear a song that has never been written? while some see me as crazy, i see me as genius! bwahahaha! and the one who is crazy enough to think she can change the world, is the one who does!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">in a small town, in a big world!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i am not fool enough to think that what i do in my small town will matter to everyone. it will not matter to most. it will not make sense to others. it might even be dumb, ordinary, or flat to a few. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">but for some? for some it will change the world. those are the some i am looking for. those are the some i want to look in the eye and say, "you, too? oh, good! let us do this together."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and life is good!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-2992853230814434992014-12-22T09:05:00.000+08:002014-12-22T09:05:15.706+08:00when the pain becomes an ache<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">somehow, there is this trust that i have in the truth that everything happens not by chance but by design.</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the people in my life, those in the past and in the present, hhhmmm, maybe even the ones i will meet in the morrow;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the places i have been to, where i am now planted, maybe even a place i would consider living in, in the later years of my life;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">the events and circumstances.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">all these i believe are part of a grand design for this life i live, albeit my belief that i also have free will, too. bwahahaha!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghjy-uSwIgLsXv2SHk-ewyxutJt8wZjILzMcPwFWCm8270T2X1Aym6VvuaKb354o6yAq1N2IgaGbKn36QfOOOS0aJfEv3-3jP6oEuiJJnBCSUvilV8AOlN7bFpXJXod768Q9Yqo6yDrr0x/s1600/007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghjy-uSwIgLsXv2SHk-ewyxutJt8wZjILzMcPwFWCm8270T2X1Aym6VvuaKb354o6yAq1N2IgaGbKn36QfOOOS0aJfEv3-3jP6oEuiJJnBCSUvilV8AOlN7bFpXJXod768Q9Yqo6yDrr0x/s1600/007.jpg" height="400" width="292" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">however, lately, in the midst of all that has been going on, i catch a glimpse of myself drowning and lost. and the pain becomes an ache. . .</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Q2vu4zCZEsi48Pf-rihnGzobFqmB3lmrTqZGRSMb0twD3IhtERGxRIyUJUzVM51UMLaokz8W9xCSHpUEscRDN9HZOw6X23kvQEU_EoiZ5jA5Ng9-AGT8BQJj72NfLZz-cebJNpXkZrDG/s1600/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Q2vu4zCZEsi48Pf-rihnGzobFqmB3lmrTqZGRSMb0twD3IhtERGxRIyUJUzVM51UMLaokz8W9xCSHpUEscRDN9HZOw6X23kvQEU_EoiZ5jA5Ng9-AGT8BQJj72NfLZz-cebJNpXkZrDG/s1600/001.jpg" height="298" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so for the coming days that are but gifts, may i remember to breathe!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i be patient as i consider the colourful mess of joy and grief.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i have the understanding that my soul may need a little space to sit quietly in the shadows, before she can be ready to embrace the light.</span></div>
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Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-25530447821225866482014-12-14T14:10:00.000+08:002014-12-14T14:10:12.136+08:00when grey and blue are mornings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhlGA8E55Lsni6rsEY8R3h4Q7_Lc8XsVaT_OVR8yZHHqreTlHmMntKkhtmmpPYgUPFVS7-IdmrKlMWe5jjKeI_5qAhh9sQf762GQitTMCyKaW9xGfDzb6D6UknTc2cPFZ0ugiidvxooJz/s1600/IMG_7784i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhlGA8E55Lsni6rsEY8R3h4Q7_Lc8XsVaT_OVR8yZHHqreTlHmMntKkhtmmpPYgUPFVS7-IdmrKlMWe5jjKeI_5qAhh9sQf762GQitTMCyKaW9xGfDzb6D6UknTc2cPFZ0ugiidvxooJz/s1600/IMG_7784i.jpg" height="400" width="297" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it is such a cold and grey sunday, makes me dip deep. when i do, somehow, i feel blue.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">sometimes, i feel like all my glasses tend to be half-empty, i.e., when i tend to be more eeyore than pooh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">sometimes, i tend to be the last to spot the silver lining, when the clouds descend upon me, and not of my own choosing.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMHGNzOGWCbD-0V0UYGxrUMu2PaLXswl-1nRHj8uP4FmyTHp0J2Sm8kO6xux1LzOAeHliJWsWXv-cbR1PrwJ6yIcUD97Azfbs6R1XEYp0zdpkJ2xNUaLMq11GJyRk3VnfAhB3o37N6ehX1/s1600/IMG_7784f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMHGNzOGWCbD-0V0UYGxrUMu2PaLXswl-1nRHj8uP4FmyTHp0J2Sm8kO6xux1LzOAeHliJWsWXv-cbR1PrwJ6yIcUD97Azfbs6R1XEYp0zdpkJ2xNUaLMq11GJyRk3VnfAhB3o37N6ehX1/s1600/IMG_7784f.jpg" height="400" width="297" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">sometimes, i just seem unable to escape, however hard i try to reframe.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwx_5G89moXIFeymUbrRdtSJSkBrUIyvQqD8uriw5TfVzR0eLc5KqND8oif2fRqhy_8QAfHEbvJQxa0xkmcV8Dy8pWu9FfB26UZF315uSXnQIHq-Dajgsbh7fpPEQbmarVjvOYf5tEtFNu/s1600/IMG_7784h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwx_5G89moXIFeymUbrRdtSJSkBrUIyvQqD8uriw5TfVzR0eLc5KqND8oif2fRqhy_8QAfHEbvJQxa0xkmcV8Dy8pWu9FfB26UZF315uSXnQIHq-Dajgsbh7fpPEQbmarVjvOYf5tEtFNu/s1600/IMG_7784h.jpg" height="297" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">maybe, it comes from running a little too hard for a little too long. or from small discouragements that add up to one big gloom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and on a morning like this, i wake up and grope and hope for the usual hopefulness that dances around me, but just isn't there this morn.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-75647018674783224122014-12-09T21:06:00.002+08:002014-12-09T21:06:55.756+08:00new eyes, new love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it was a tumultuous weekend, when i say that, i mean not only the howling winds blowing off the leaves from my trees, nor just the torrents that seemed so incessant. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it was a tumultuous weekend, when i say that, i also mean the emotional roller coaster ride of my story, my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i never liked the roller coaster, in fact, i never had a ride in one. well, sometimes, i get the feel of the real thing when people and emotions are jolted and shaken. that feeling of slowly rising up above the clouds and then suddenly dealing with a downward spiral.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for that which transpired last weekend, i took time off and communed and confessed and came out of it, hopefully whole. maybe some cracks here and there, some brokenness. but these cracks, they just let out the light from within.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for the next days coming, may i find ways to say old truths, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">new eyes to see old loves</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and new courage to release what i no longer need.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may my soul learn peace in the midst of chaos,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">gladness when i feel small and quiet in the presence of what once was love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">may i know new love soon, as soon as the next sun rises. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">bwahahaha!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-56408948976264733832014-10-12T09:41:00.000+08:002014-10-12T11:21:50.850+08:00soul space<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">after the july typhoon, i closed the farm to mean that i will not be entertaining guests unless and until my farm has fully recovered and is fully repaired, as according to my definition of the two words: recover and repair.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">but i had this challenge to break my word or not, when i got a call from mylene of dti when she told me a group of businessmen and agency representatives from tarlac are coming to visit my farm and my enterprise. to delay giving an answer, i told mylene i will have to check my calendar and see if i am free on the set date, 10 october. i knew that date to be just a day or two from a national trade fair i would be joining, so i was thinking, i may not have the energy to be the gracious host that i am (bwahahaha!), giving me a perfect excuse to reject. but i did not. i had this urging thought that i might as well brave it and show what the typhoon has done to my farm and what this spirit has done with the aftermath. bwahahaha! so i said yes!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it was a great experience, both for me and my guests (my guests said so! bwahahaha!) after the farm tour, we went to my gallery, Cafe des Artes and my artisanal shop, The F.A.R.M. Shoppe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for this weekend, i know these for sure: all my questions, my insecurities, my doubts and my disabilities are all hidden in your love. i dread not the small beginnings, the little impacts the slow results. rather, i stretch myself out into the fullest shape of myself, your image. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">life is good! and i am grateful everyday! </span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-43956824860268736152014-08-04T10:31:00.001+08:002014-08-04T10:31:46.217+08:00languid and lethargic<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it was a languid, rather lethargic weekend as i wanted it to be, brings to mind this thought: i can make things happen, if i want it hard enough. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for the weekend that just passed, i wanted some time to think things over, things and people in my life, and guess what, i did just that, amidst the silk squares that got wet during the recent typhoon, and now am ironing for a lovely project in mind, and in between my weekend conversation with my nephew kim who just celebrated his 20th, and came to thank me for my simple gift for him and neil, 19. it was, indeed, a lazy weekend, just what i had in mind to begin with, but definitely one that made me come out of it more whole and more resolved in some things and some persons.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and these i know for sure:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">old truths find ways to be discovered, to be known. and we had time to talk about it, kim and i. we talked about mama a lot, maybe it was because the recent devastation brought to mind how i would just be carefree, even during a typhoon, when mama was still with us. i could not care less about repairs and replacements. now, i guess, is my turn and i realize now more than ever, how difficult it must have been for her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i have new eyes to see old loves. sometimes, i fall prey to the lure of newbies. a lot of us do. but this weekend, i know my old loves are here to stay for the long haul, and it is such a relief! bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and my soul, aaaahhh, my soul, it grasped and recognized some peace amidst the chaos, gladness and delight when i feel small (figurative. bwahahaha!) and quiet and calm in the presence of my loves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">thank you!</span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-14814584255374634312014-07-29T11:55:00.000+08:002014-07-29T11:55:17.486+08:00paradox<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i cannot stay at the farm and maintain a smile. i have planted each and every tree, watched them grow, touched and breathed with them, our energies mingled. i can feel the fresh air that my trees breathe out, i just can. and to see some of them broken, breaks me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so i take my time off, i need to breathe, sometimes, i cannot take it all in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i sit there sippin' alone and somehow, i feel you slide into the seat across from me at my fave coffee place. i cannot hide from you, right away you noticed the tiredness in my eyes and say: you are in a tough season, many women would have given up, but not you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">you ask: how are you?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i forced a smile and managed: oh, i'm so blessed! life is good!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">you opened your hands across the table and touched mine: i mean, how are you, really?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">tears came to the corners of my eyes: am ready to be done with all of this! it is harder than i thought it would be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so, which is true? both.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it is funny that sometimes. i tend to think in terms of all or nothing. so i would always say life is good! when i am breaking apart inside. because i feel, to do otherwise, i would be discounting the other goodness that is in my life. but then, i get to realize this: i live with both blessings and brokenness. challenges and victories, sorrow and joy. (although the latter, with a capital J is fake. bwahahaha!) so i have to change the last pair: sorrow and bliss! now, that sounds more apt, at least for me. bwahahaha! they are all mixed up together.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so today, i know this for sure: in my life, i must embrace the paradox. and i bring everything to you and trust that when you ask me how i am, you truly want to know and it is okay to tell you. all of it. and life is good. bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-49760946174963573102014-07-12T13:47:00.000+08:002014-07-12T13:47:19.803+08:00life is a balancing act<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">sometimes, i have trouble putting balance on things. hmmmm, make it a lot of times. bwahahaha! i am no good at doing one thing at a time. while i may catch myself busy on the treadle of my antique sewing machine, i would often catch myself picking the poppy am going to translate onto my canvass. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">while am going through the meandering paths in the forest at the farm, i also catch myself imagining jiko running until his tongue sticks out panting and making himself dirty and i giving him a run for his life before being able to give him a bath. bwahahaha! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">while i am meeting with my colleagues in the business department at the university, i also catch myself considering and raring to drive down to buhi and touch those handwoven colourful fabrics i asked the local weavers to especially weave for me, for my hobo bags and scarves. and i can go on and on and on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i have good intentions, but i typically end up doing most of it all at once because before i know it, there is also the time frame i have to work on - deadlines for one like me? this definitely sounds strange. bwahahaha! another thing am good at? i wait too long for "me" time and when i get it, i hoard it like a starving dog worried i may never get it again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">perhaps it is because for the last six or seven years, it has been mostly about them - others. the fault may have been from me getting that most outstanding rural woman award. i seem to have taken it upon the self to stay outstanding! at least to my mind's eyes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">now that i notice years creeping in on me, i got the scare of my life when i experienced cramps on both legs, i realize that i have to take extra effort to make a balance of what goes on in my life. and i have consciously taken time for introverted activities like reading and musing and painting and sewing. again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">do i need to be productive and clean the house from top of the fridge to bottom of the baseboards? should i finish the simplicity patchwork which is not simple at all? write the farm training modules? learn to tat? save the world?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i always try to find that happy place between living restfully and being productive and recently, i reclaimed a small spot at the verandah. i still have to bring up my rocking chair from the coffee shop downstairs to complete the look of the nook. bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so today, in between tapping on my lappy and dipping my paintbrush, i made an appointment to have that swedish before i hit the sack. i took sometime to really sit down and talk things about my relaunching of the b&b, but is that work? bwahahaha! no, it is coffee time with a real-life friend. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">while it may sound so self-indulgent, those things and activities, they are also the very things that are so important and very rarely scheduled for the self.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">sometimes, it is the little things, the daily things, the ordinary things that i need to notice and celebrate! but this saturday, today, i am celebrating a different kind of gift: permission to be indulgent. bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">and one more thing, i allow myself to wear my pearls everyday. now, that is indulgent. bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-84884785114463236602014-07-06T08:32:00.000+08:002014-07-06T08:32:50.337+08:00deeper into joy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i let the wind through my hair. sometimes, though, the wind finds it difficult to go through my hair, when it is so bundled up. bwahahaha! so on rare occasions, i let my hair loose and allow the wind to caress those greys.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i go through every nook and cranny at the farm, and discover something new, each time. seeds sprouting, berries blushing, bamboos shooting! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">it feels like everything is breathing with joy! exalting! exulting!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">through all these, i learned to receive, for i know, all these are gifts. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so, i walk and gather and just happily be, even for just a day, sometimes just a moment, i allow myself to listen and whisper a prayer, embrace the grace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for this weekend, i allow myself to wander and may this wandering lead me deeper into the joy habit, because i know this for sure: all is grace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">life is good! and ilysm! bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-18802330983332807632014-06-29T10:54:00.000+08:002014-06-29T10:54:17.072+08:00this thing called puppy love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">jiKo was a surprise gift for me last christmas. it was love at first sight. but my first reaction, really, when i saw the teeny weeny pup was hesitance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i could not imagine myself taking care of the tiny mutt. he looked so fragile and a bit dirty, i was also afraid he might have some pet insects of his own. bwahahaha! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">but gracious as i could muster, i hugged happily the donor and gave the little mutt a pat on his back. he just looked at me and did not even smile. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i did some pet supplies shopping before i went to pick him up, and brought my basket, lined with some new and clean rugs, and some puppy food. my car was new, i didn't want any leak on the seats or on the floors, that i also brought a huge basin to hold the basket, just in case. bwahahaha! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i drove home and got him into a new basket as his sleeping place. he did not like it, he wants to hang his head on the metal foot bar of my repurposed wrought iron book shelf. hhhmmmm, as early as the first day, he was already showing some character! and i can feel myself fallin' deeper! bwahahaha! divin' even. i could not help it! he is adorable!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">a few mishaps from his mischievous antics: a sprain, and a gushing cut, made me bawl my eyes out, and not just for a while, i was crying the whole night while watching him to sleep and watching just to make sure he is breathing! bwahahaha! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">now, as i recall that moment, i could still feel how bad i felt that he hurt himself. never thought i would feel that way! i knew then it was true love. bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">fast forward to today, he is now taking his nap, while am pounding on my lappy, putting into this post my puppy diary, before he rouses up and starts nibbling at my arms and giving me those wet kisses. bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">for this weekend, i cannot help but be grateful for having been given the chance to experience this wonderful puppy love. he not only gives me joy but makes me learn a few and basic things. and i tell daday and manilyn these teachings, too. they do not need to be puppies to be better humans. bwahahaha!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">these are a few of my favourite puppy teachings:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">when love comes home, always run to greet them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride (when jiKo hears the engine, he runs up, climbs in and takes his spot on the front seat, beside the driver. bwahahaha!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstacy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">take naps.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">stretch before rising.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">run, romp and play daily.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">thrive on attention and let people touch you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">avoid biting when a simple grown will do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">on warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass, on hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">when you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">delight in the simple joy of a long walk.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">be loyal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">never pretend to be something you are not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">when someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">enjoy every moment of the day!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">jiKo is not just a mutt for me, he is the reason i come home early and the reason why i wake up early. we have to have that early morning nuzzle on my bed, before we begin the day. now i must say this: if puppies were friends, jiKo is my best. and life is good.</span><br />
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<br />Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7357716740942117714.post-56908893436788128582014-06-22T09:18:00.002+08:002014-06-22T09:39:30.458+08:00of lies and liars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">i was kinda hoping for a quiet weekend, instead, i had to break it and go for the loud and the noisy. i went to the city, hoping to find some quiet. it does sound oxymoron-ish, well, a lot of people are that, anyway. so for this weekend, or rather what's left of it, i kinda feel like rantin', or maybe just airin' my thoughts out, when all this time, i have maintained my cool. i just got so disappointed and frustrated that people who i think are cool and true, are just the opposite, well, not the cool part, dammit! because definitely, they are not hot! bwahahaha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">right now, am at a loss for ways on how to deal with lies and liars. i still maintain that it is better and easier to deal with hard truths than with soft and cushioned lies, but it is just the way people are, i think. make that, am sure! they would rather think that they are making me happy by telling me lies, than see me cry over truths. contrary to what i strongly believe in, dammit!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">so for this weekend, i scrimp on the time left. may i still find quiet gifts and true companions and unexpected surprises. may these tears of frustrations be turned into wine of good taste and flavours. may i not experience, again and again, being subjected to hard or soft lies. which, by the way, i find about anyway. may the time left of this sunday take me for a break from heartbreak. and if i miss it, i can always pick it up again on monday. bwahahaha! </span>Bernadettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05242054750414823303noreply@blogger.com0