Saturday, October 16, 2010

today, am rich!

the morning finds me teary,
overcome with the magnitude of His grace and mercy,
in that He has, for His own reasons, chosen to make me an incredibly “rich” person.
they have to be His own reasons;

i know my story well enough to know the massive gulf between
what i have earned and what i have.

this morning, i celebrate the same things that many will:
home, health, family and friends.

but the things i have seen, heard, and learned this past couple of years, well, they are what push my gratitude from a sigh and a smile to a whole other level.

today, i write these words from the comfort of my shoppe cum studio at home,

having looked into the eyes of many who don't have a place to call their own.

i live up close to those who have no front door to shut against the world,
no bed to leave unmade, no cupboard full of snacks.

i have seen the haunted expressions of those who share about sleeping outside.

i have heard the horror stories of those who are at the mercy of whoever will take them in.
i have watched the frustration of those who are learning to deal with jail life,
which means yielding to the system’s idea of how clean is clean enough
or what time the lights should go out.
today, when i say i am grateful for my home, it means whole worlds of things that had never crossed my mind before.

my personal encounter with being childless, so many years back now that i struggle to place a date on it, changed my appreciation for my existence. it deepened my compassion for those who are sad and lonely, though living with a husband and some kids.

my journey the last few years has taken me deep into the realities of loneliness and aloneness, and being caught in the confines of what society dictates.
once upon a time, it never crossed my mind to be grateful for being who i am, a lone soul in this busy world. that was presumption on a very high order.

the old line says "people need people." i used to think it was a lie, back when i believed i was a loner
and that i required large amounts of solitude in order to be happy.
i was wrong.
people do need people.
we shape one another.
we draw out the poison from old wounds.
we stir up the good stuff that's been settled so long that it has been forgotten.
we prop each other up.

do we get it wrong, sometimes?
oh, yes. often, even.
is it awkward and unlovely, on occasion?
yeah, you bet!.

but people without family are dangerously susceptible.
i am grateful for friends and family,
not only because they sometimes give me the "warm fuzzies,"
but also because i need them,
and they need me,
and the One who designed us all planned it like that.

today, when prodded by the question, ”how rich are you?”, i shout:
i am rich, way beyond your imagination!