Wednesday, April 2, 2014

speaking with my life

it is dark in my shoppe, my sewing room, my show room all rolled into one, this morning, hours before the sun comes up.  the windows reflect the light from my lamp. 

i come here in the early quiet, pour the coffee, play a little with my puppy, browse through my book stash and my fabric stash and see and almost can hear my patchwork dreams.
what story does today tell?  it is finally april, and am turning one. bwahahaha!  one after the gold, that is.
we all are telling stories, in the every day that we live.  some do it with words, some with colours.  some do it with their crazy ideas.  some tell theirs in microphones, others near microwaves.  we speak with our movements, our meals, our routines, our laughter, our compassion, our grief, our to-do lists.  right now, i do it with my patchworks.  what do i say?
i speak of hope, love, fear, thruth. how do i say it?  loud  or in whispers?  maybe, either way is alright.  in my living, i learn something or teach something.
today, on this regular tuesday, i know this for sure:  i have a story and i let my life tell it.  and it is good!  bwahahaha!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

big and small

it is a rare wednesday, today. i had the day in an uninterrupted time. the best way to spend any day, i guess. and i know this for sure:  in the quiet of my solitude, i hear the words beneath that remain unspoken.
when i catch myself caring too much about the small things, i cower and take cover. sure enough, i get back to my senses and get my salvation, you show me back to care about the big ones instead.
for this beautiful wednesday, may i have the insight, discernment and humility to know the difference between the small things and the big ones. bwahahaha! size does matter. and life is good!

Sunday, February 23, 2014

joie de vivre

there is just reason and time for everything.  and i notice, i am blessed with a keen recognition of what brings joy in this living. . .the true kind.  and it is all because i have a grateful heart.

last night, after our tuscan affair at the farm, it was dark but i could still see the trees, i was overflowing with appreciation and thankfulness, as i walked by the forest i have planted about four years ago.  i noticed i was breathless, and was actually in tears of joy! my trees have grown so tall! and i just could not put in words my amazement.  i know i planted those trees,  but what came out of my simple act and activity, was this magnificent sight and experience.



i went near the closest tree and felt its roughness, how it must have weathered all the seasons of its life. suddenly, i can feel energy rushing in through me.  this always happens and it is always inexplicable.  do not ask me about it. bwahahaha!

so for this weekend, these are my thoughts:

when i walk among my trees and touch them, my soul is filled with music, with quiet reassurance.  i look up and can see just enough blue sky to remind me not to give up hope and trust, even after listening to the weatherman about the cycles of cyclones.  bwahahaha!

when friends show up and let me be who i already am, with my limits as well as my potentials, i see my willingness to receive the evening as it is and know that what is best is what transpires.  and did!  there is joy in surrender!  and i remember, no matter how weary i might feel every afterwards, i know that i, just like you are, am just the brush and the brushstroke and the true artist has already made his masterpiece in me.
life is good!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

touchable

i purposely left this saturday free, when i say that, i mean i can do what i love doing most, in an uninterrupted time.  and this saturday is meant for my 100 joy quilts project, which i am so far from completing! bwahahaha! my priest friend eal teased me that i will finish the project just in time for my 100th birthday, which is half a century from now.  bwahahaha!
so while i savour this alone time and indulge in my passion, i also keep in mind that what transpired during the past few days that made up my wonderful past week, is but an illumination of how the force works in me, with me and through me.
for this weekend, these are my entreaties:
 
may this weekend be filled with light, both the outside kind that warms my skin and the inside kind that warms my soul.

may the truths that i meet be the ones that are discernable.
 may the love that visits me be one that is touchable. (bwahahaha!)

and may the joy that comes right up my door stay there till i hear its knock and let it in.
life is good!  ilysm!  ♥ ♥ ♥

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

looking back, looking ahead

the past few days held a lot for me, a lot of chances for gratitude. there was just no day during the past week that i was not filled to the brim with reasons to be thankful for.
i do not know what have held for you those past few days. perhaps, it has been an easy week, maybe even a hard one, or still maybe a mix of both. and i am sure, like me, you look back to those days all over again, and wonder if you did enough, tried hard enough. . .and then you look ahead.
so today, i pause for a moment and take a deep breath.  it is definitely time to remind myself that life is not about doing, rather, life is about loving. because i know, the kindness i get from family, friends and strangers, are the kindness i give out in the first place.  it comes back a hundred-fold!

during the weekdays last week, my doctor cousin, manay ernie, flew in from michigan with her team of medical doctors and did a medical mission in the city next to my town.  they do this almost every year, sometimes, more than once a year.  so while she was waiting for the other doctors to fly in, she gave me a visit at the farm where we had our customary lunch when i serve the day's harvest, cooked the way we locals do.  
 what a wonderful sight it is to behold how she and the rest of my guests were savouring each and every morsel of the food on their plates. bwahahaha!  seconds have to be served soon enough.
as we stayed on till the afternoon, i had pido, my farm help pick some sweet corn and serve them boiled, sans any flavourings or condiments, the sweetness of the newly harvested corn was enough to drive you to get more cobs.  bwahahaha!  
though i have had enough of corn to last me a year's cravings, i could not help myself from getting one cob, induced by the sight of them with so much gusto!  it was dark when we left the farm. 

the next day, manay ernie brought her friends to visit my gallery and shoppe.  that was a surprise treat for me! of course, i believe in the novelty and worth of my arts and crafts, but when they were filling in their baskets with everything they could have their hands on at the shoppe, there was this pervading sense of excitement and joy in me. what a validation!  not that i need one!  i believe in what i do. bwahahaha!  
my F.A.R.M. stuff were just the gifts they want to bring home and give to their friends and family. 

and when i told them about the story behind it, the advocacies i stand up for, the more they wanted to have my beautiful creations.
the next night was as busy. manay ernie, again, brought some of her friends and they were as frantic to buy the goods as the first batch.
the experience made me do some thinking.  why were these people so kind and nice to me?  well, it is okay that manay ernie is nice to me, we are cousins!  bwahahaha! (though i could not say that about the rest of the kind.  bwahahaha!)
and it led me to thinking, and believing that what i get from them, their kindness and enthusiasm, not to mention their generosity, their patronage and support, that could only mean one thing: that i have reached out in kindness, too - offered a smile, gave a hug, listened, helped, comforted, supported and encouraged - and they are returning what i did and do!

so now, as a farmer and a F.A.R.M.er, i know this for sure: what matters most is not the clean kitchen nor the completed project. not the list of goals neatly checked off,  what matters most is the loving, because am loved in return. maybe not by the same person i love, but definitely returned.  and life is good.

thank you!  ilysm!  ♥ ♥ ♥