sometimes, it feels like i have pushed the fast-forward button on life and not stop until the very last. which is not much of a life at all, at least for me. bwahahaha!
today i know this for sure: life is not a race. it is a walk along the meandering paths at my forest, touching each and every tree that has grown so fast and tall, a casual stroll along the narrow path in between two corn fields, checking a tassel or two of golden hair. . . basking in the time and the space where i am right now. anything else is some cruel distraction from what is most important. bwahahaha!
as an aunt to five nephews and nieces, i began to understand that cliche everyone tells me is actually true: it all goes so fast. i suddenly notice my nephews do not want to be pecked on the cheeks or forehead, in public! and they are shy to be told i love them, especially when their classmates in high school are within hearing distance. and i purposely shout it to kiddingly embarrass them. bwahahaha!
thinking about it now, i do not want their growing up to race by; i want it to drag on, deliberately and definitively.
and i want to bide my time. there is no such thing as waiting until the good stuff comes. this is it: the very best stuff life has to offer. right now is the only time i will ever have. so it has to be the best - because it is all i get. i better make the most of it.
so this coming days, i slow down and see the things i need to see:
notice the way the morning sunlight refracts through my capiz windows,
get a whiff of the fresh scent of newly cut grass,
listen to the concerto of the birds and the bees,
dance in the rain and splash in a puddle,
catch some red, red orange,orange, yellow orange (such colours!) falling leaves. . .
so i pray, let me not forget or rush through them on my way to the next big accomplishment. because in the end, these moments, they are all i have. . .