fresh and green morning

it is far from daybreak, sunrise is hours away.  i am wanting i had spent the night at the farm, where i will hear my coop make their morning noise, my avian friends chirp their morning songs. . .

i wake up too soon and couldn't go back to sleep, so my brain started to t.h.i.n.k. . .


(sometimes i hate it when it does that.  and it was too late to recall what ned and i talked about the last time, over a brew - the mind tricks you, do not listen to it, listen instead to your heart.)

i took myself down a path that i shouldn't have gone and when i got there, i said, "lakokafalfal!"  bwahahaha!


well, i am not really an idiot, but what i am is unkind, cruel, nasty and hurtful to the self.  when i stripped away the illusion, the figment of my imagination, my chimera ( i love the sound of this word.  bwahahaha!), of what i had been thinking about, and saw instead the truth of the situation, i realized that the only person in the situation who is being unkind and out of alignment with the person i was created to be, was me. (hello!  bwahahaha!)

i know the person that i want to be and that person always chooses peace and love (am a flower person), but i so often find myself choosing emotions that are in conflict with that desire.


(giving myself a break now, at least now i know what is causing the problem.)

being the person i want to be, requires me to get rid of my expectations and judgements about the behaviour of others, and this is the hardest thing to do!  yet, in doing so, i have judged the self and found the self lacking, wanting. . .

the face of unkindness is not on him, it is on me.  and whatever life brings to me, i cannot blame anyone else for my lack of peace, or my stress.  i can choose to judge the behaviour of others and find them right or wrong, or i can choose my response to it,  because i know that each one of us has to live with the consequences of our choices.  

as part of my morning meditation/journaling routine,  i have often listed things that i am grateful for.  so, today, i am grateful for:


22. the fresh and green villa where i live and where the crack of dawn brings a new beginning, always.

focusing my attention now on what my heart sees, and not MINDing too much. . .and it is a good thing.  

now am ready and i choose you and ilysm.  bwahahaha!