for this weekend, may i not be surprised at my own contradictions:
how i long to be alone(although i already am. bwahahaha!), yet crave community and inclusion;
how i wish for some sort of attention, notice, thought and also anonymity, vagueness and obscurity;
how i want my independence, my freedom, my openness but secretly wish for a caretaker (a masseuse, a carpenter, a janitor. bwahahaha!)
may i not try to smoothen, iron out my inconsistencies, and just accept these colours and shades of gray, as part of my humanity.
amidst all these, may i be firm in knowing without asking for a miracle or a spectacle, the changeless and unmoving presence of you. and i smile and know you are and will always be there. you make life good! bwahahaha!
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