surrender

there are just moments when i feel i have had enough!  (been labelled, called names, got missent messages, used, abused, etc, etc, etc).  when i feel that way, i just give up.

yes, you heard me right.  i stand below my towering trees, sometimes, beside a huge bamboo shoot, amidst the greens, raise my hands as high as i can.  i turn my palms up toward heaven and just say:  am done!  i am handing it all over, giving up!

then i ask, what do you want to give me in return?  as if someone is there to listen and provide an answer.  (hmmm, well, on second thought, i know there is someone who listens. . .and answers.)

this brings to mind:  i am a strong person!  and it is hard for me to think like this.  there is always that nagging feeling like i need to prove i can handle this.  there is this fear of feeling weak or out of control.

now, though, this is what i know for sure:  the bravest thing i can do is not to just keep going.  sometimes, the most courageous act is surrender.  sometimes, true strength is knowing when to give up.

thank you! ♥