having christmas all to myself

i'm spending this christmas at home, here in baao, camarines sur, philippines.
(if you do not know where it is, google it please).
the agenda includes christmas eve chicken macaroni salad, pj, chiffon cake.
(the red will be downed later on)
and christmas morning hot choco, with my all time favorite longsilog.
and since i’m doing homemade fixins on the eve and the morn,
on the day i am heading for naga city for a candlelit dinner
sans family and boyfriend, i.e.,

A L O N E.



wow! shiny? it depends. . .

now, i'm going to be honest with you, this is my sixth christmas in baao,
and my sixth christmas spent without a boyfriend or family.
i've got friends, good ones,
i’ve got family (brother with family, sister with family),
but i'm not going to be with them. again.


my bamboo sofa can surely, accomodate two, comfortably. . .hehehe

and i do think to myself,
every year,
that maybe next year will be the year i spend christmas with someone i love.
(not that i don't love my friends and family,
but you know what i'm saying.)
i think sometimes too,
maybe someday my life will have really changed,
and i'll spend christmas with a family of my own.
i'll admit that i will welcome that day.
if i was heading out of town with hunky-actor-boyfriend,
i'd be on cloud nine about it.
i'm green-eyed every time i read or hear about someone going home with their noteworthy other,
or bringing them home with them.

but here i am, baao year six, S.I.N.K.ing my way through the holidays and cold season sans fam or boyf

s – single

i – income

n – no

k - kids

and you know what?
it's going to be a blast.
believe it or not!

sometimes i have to stop and remind myself how precious these years are.
the intoxicating freedom of it,
the rural liberation not urban decadence, nor city profligacy.
no pressures, no hassles, no demands
(except from the title i have to live up to)
to do anything but exactly what i want.



i've done the whole outrageous, homemade dinner with friends,
and that's fun,
but this year i thought it would be cool to eat out on the town,
and i am totally looking forward to it –
having christmas all to myself. . .
so while i'm honest enough with myself to know i am hoping for something different someday,
i'm also smart enough to be really grateful for what i have today:

christmas. . .
with a great friend (myself). . .
in a great town (baao). . .