how do i love thee?

i love thee to the depth my soul can reach,

the breadth my eyes can see,

and height my wings could fly. . .

when you are out of my sight.

i love thee to the point of every day's most hushed need,

in the brilliance of my day. . .

and the mysterious hour of my night. . .by candle-light.

i love thee freely,

but struggle not from the chains

that shackle the surmounting intensity of my ardent desires

now. . .

when the morrow breaks, this flightless spirit surely soars.

i love thee with passion laid to rest:

my old sorrow. . .anguish, pain.

and with my childhood's faith renewed. . .

i love thee with the breath,

smiles, tears, of my life!

i love thee now, and tomorrow i love thee more.

my not so ordinary thursday

someone has given me a small, colourful journal for my writing, so i have been taking it with me, to record that fleeting thought or idea. as i write in it, i realize it has become a catalogue of blessings.

today, for instance, i woke up to the chirping of the birds by my upstairs bedroom, the windows covered with an overgrown ficus that is host to a number of local avian creatures, who, religiously chirp their way into my morning. as i hear their sweet sound, i somehow rise from my warm bed and walk gingerly towards the mirror, and slowly open my eyes to see the first smile of the day – my own. i tiptoe my way around the bed and feel for my slippers, blinkless, afraid my movement would scare my morning friends away, and make me miss their music. and this is just in the wee hour of my thursday morning.

i brave the cold shower with my own regimen of kickboxing and a repertoire of unfinished tunes. as soon as i get out drippin’ wet, i wrap myself with my luxe towel and my outfit for the day arranged neatly on my bed, is ready for the wearing. i occasionally take a glimpse at the mirror, to check if i like what i see – of, course, i always do. bwahahaha!

my coffee and breakfast await at my shoppe, the aroma starts to tease my senses from the first step down the staircase at the front of my villa. i savor every morsel and sip my bev to the last drop. . .that should start my day right and it always does. . .always.

and the list of people i meet for the day includes, Doris, from the Dept of Agriculture, who brings the invoice ready for my signature, to receive one unit of STW for La Huerta. the note on the paper says, “transfer without cost”, now, that is truly a valuable blessing! i cannot help make a planting calendar for the remaining of the year, in my mind, and it stretches to the next year, making me feel i am the superfarmer! bwahahaha! people to thank: RED Dayao, Gigi, Rose, Glo, Cora, Arlene, of course, my allies Mon and Vincent.

by the time the day stretches to noon, i spend time to confer with Mm Edna, Mm. Minnie and Jay of the DTI, who surprised me with another array of good tidings! wow! my town, my people, had been eyed to embroider – do what they love doing!

i was actually speechless, engulfed with gratitude, and it would have been so corny if i bawled my eyes out there, at the DTI office of the Provincial Director, and have my mascara running, and go out from the meeting looking like a smug panda. bwahahaha! it was so hard to keep cool and remain composed and keep myself from hugging Mm Edna. if i had my way and was in my room, i would be needing a box of tissues. am in the middle of one right now. . .

i walked my way to my friend Cristy’s restaurant to take my lunch, so i could have time to let this all in. . .slowly. . .when good things happen, i never ask why. i know why. . .

the afternoon creeps in and i hailed a cab to bring me to my next meeting – a reorganizational meeting for the RIC at the DA’s Provincial office nearby. i got acclaimed to the highest position and vowed to do my best for the rural women of Cam Sur.

and all these happened today, on my not so ordinary thursday. . . do i wonder what friday has in store? nah! never. . . because i know.

ps. just now i hear the rain i have been praying for, pitter-pattering against my window pane. . . quenching the thirst of my greens. . .life is good. i know. . .

Indulge! Celebrate!

i make every day, and every occasion, a reason to celebrate – that is my maxim! there is so much to celebrate in my life, and i am sure in yours, too – a harvest, like when i make my fingers green from harvesting my tomatoes, there is no more literal translation for having green thumbs, the green stain on my hands, and the smell of ripe tomatoes, ahhh. . .

an unexpected find at the farm, imagine my delight when i found this beauty,

so innocently creeping upon my bamboo fence, i don’t even know its name, and i may never do, but it was truly a case of love at first sight. . . any vintage find is a reason to celebrate, too, especially when it comes boxed, and travelled the seven seas to your doorstep, bwahahaha!

and for this year’s christmas, i celebrate ageless beauty and timeless friendships. . . with petals and pearls.

i have long learned a perfect dictum in celebrating and been practicing it as often as i can – Indulge! and that is exactly what we did! bwahahaha!

a happy new year

the number certainly is unfamiliar, at least right now. it will not be in a week’s time. it definitely lacks the alliteration that 2010 has. one has to make the tongue muscle move from the back of the teeth to the back of the throat too quickly, when you say it, now, say it – twen-tee-ee-lev-in. you know what i mean, right? and a few mistakes on writing the date will have to happen, it always does when a new year comes – very ordinary. it takes at least one to four weeks to adapt to it. so, i think the banks are used to getting checks with mucked up and initialled dates.

transition periods are important. i don't believe it is necessary to blow horns and wear party hats, stay up late, or brave the blasts and crowds, but it is important to recognize the passage of time and most importantly, the beauty of a blank year, like a blank canvass, in its new freshness, inky black nights, wind-swept days, and bright sunshine bouncing off dew-covered leaves dripping with promise.

whatever your circumstances, the new year brings the same opportunity for renewal. and that is what i love most about having to celebrate new year!

i am not one for formal resolutions nor do i pretend that this will be the year that i shed 15 pounds, power walk 5 miles a day, and finally stay on top of all my work (though i hope so). i do not make promises to read one hundred books or or do a painting a day or learn to cook paella, though wouldn't it be lovely if i did?

that is what the new year brings: unlimited optimism, hope, opportunity, dreams, fanciful wishes, and ordinary days. . . oh how i love ordinary days. . .

this wonderful blank year, a gift from the Force, the beginning of a new decade.

this wonderful blank year filled with daybreak sun on my eyes through the capiz windows and ficus-covered sight, each morning,chirping birds. . .

occasional horn of the harassed bus or pedicab drivers,

yellow irises and pots of espadas by the front stairway,

the unhurried steps to my shoppe, where the aroma of coffee awakens my senses, with my breakfast ready on my studio table, the drive to my heaven, my paradise, on my old, dilapidated farm vehicle,

the smell of new cut grass, and newly harvested bidibidi tomatoes, my friends’ statuses on fb, occasional fine dining with the Sisters and of course, the regular bus trips to Naga for my dose of Starbucks. . .

and certainly, a lot of beautiful stories waiting to be told. . .how wonderful it is to have a new year!

merry christmas!

i started a tradition this year, a farm family party.

i have long been comfy with my reality – fun sans fam. and somehow, fate always had to meddle in my affairs so that now, i have my own, and a large one at that – my farm fam.

it was a simple gathering and everyone was involved.

from preparing the menu, going to the market and cooking,

from making a short program, to actually doing the dances,

singing the songs, wrapping and giving out the gifts.

and i received some wonderful gifts, too! oh my! my fam definitely knows me – and gives me, only the gifts i want. how lucky can i be?

nico, jam and manilyn – who makes my coffee and tea everyday; coffee at breakfast, tea before bedtime, in that particular order – has one beautiful coffee mug for me.

marilyn, lalaine, france and jr must have gotten an inside info on my current collecting spree and gave me a red antique earthen jar – certainly a vessel i want!

and to make matters better, my godchildren elena and her husband, sent me a huge box, wrapped in festive paper! and guess what i got? an antique earthen water jug, with the metal spout still working.

wow, who had been spreading the news that i am so into this? must be some santa. bwahahaha! delegating his job!

of course, who could know me more than my La Huerta family: virgie, inggay, jen, sandy, jason, eboy, gerald and mark? nobody. and the best utilitarian gift i got this Christmas, is a huge pot for cooking rice for my huge farm family! now, that was being so thoughtful.

and just like any other time that i receive an act of kindness and generosity, i was bawling my eyes out when i got back to my room at the villa. i had to close my doors and enjoy this fleeting moment of being appreciated, and loved. and being the matriarch that i am, i had to make sure, my farm fam didn’t see this moment of weakness, vulnerability. bwahahaha!

now who says that my reality sucks? bwahahaha!

blues and grays

i will NOT complain that we’ve had several rainy and gray days in a row – i am deeply grateful for every blessed raindrop that is sinking into our parched land

and helping to refill our lakes, rivers, streams, and reservoirs. you know i am.
still saddled though with the fatigue of having to stay a full week in the city and forced to work again, for yet another trip and stay, there,

i’ve spent only a few minutes fighting the fogginess inside and out by. . .
drawing, designing.
and then painting. . .
nothing cheers me up more than dipping my old paint brushes into my watercolour palettes.

somehow the grays and blues let me see the greens.

and life is good! and colourful! bwahahaha!

rushed

you know am in a rush when i have not blogged for the longest time.

i thought living in my hometown, Baao, a laid back, rural, agricultural town south of Luzon, here in the Philippines, would give me the luxury of taking it slow. . . well, it did, at first.

now, looking back at the time i re-settled back here in my hometown, Baao, i could only gape in disbelief! now, it seems like i can also be in a rush. . . which brings me to this moment of reflection. what have i done? what have i brought upon myself?

this week was a blur. i have not taken off a day. rushed with my F.A.R.M. stocks for the OLIF Trade Fair in Manila, wishing nights were days so i can have my workers, sewers make my F.A.R.M. things for me. lugged hither and yon. exhausted by Friday night, i fed myself all the carbs i can get my hands on and be angry later. bwahahaha. there is always time to be sorry and make up for gained weight. bwahahaha.

like Santa, it is very busy here in F.A.R.M.land, getting ready for fairs and Christmas sales. i am working my heads off, my shoppe looks like it was in a button storm, and notion blizzard. lunches and dinners are spent in a whiz, but who is minding? certainly not Santa nor the elves, nor the reindeer. because busy is good!

and the end is in sight: everything will be for the F.A.R.M. Shoppe and Fairs. afterall, Christmas is a season, that is my fave.

so, am i minding that i still live a rushed life once in a while, in the slow, laid back, rural, agricultural hometown of Baao? naah! ilovette!