life is a balancing act

sometimes, i have trouble putting balance on things. hmmmm, make it a lot of times.  bwahahaha!  i am no good at doing one thing at a time. while i may catch myself busy on the treadle of my antique sewing machine, i would often catch myself picking the poppy am going to translate onto my canvass.  

while am going through the meandering paths in the forest at the farm, i also catch myself imagining jiko running until his tongue sticks out panting and making himself dirty and i giving him a run for his life before being able to give him a bath. bwahahaha!  

while i am meeting with my colleagues in the business department at the university, i also catch myself considering and raring to drive down to buhi and touch those handwoven colourful fabrics i asked the local weavers to especially weave for me, for my hobo bags and scarves.  and i can go on and on and on.

i have good intentions, but i typically end up doing most of it all at once because before i know it, there is also the time frame i have to work on - deadlines for one like me?  this definitely sounds strange.  bwahahaha! another thing am good at?  i wait too long for "me" time and when i get it, i hoard it like a starving dog worried i may never get it again.

perhaps it is because for the last six or seven years, it has been mostly about them - others.  the fault may have been from me getting that most outstanding rural woman award.  i seem to have taken it upon the self to stay outstanding!  at least to my mind's eyes.

now that i notice years creeping in on me, i got the scare of my life when i experienced cramps on both legs, i realize that i have to take extra effort to make a balance of what goes on in my life.  and i have consciously taken time for introverted activities like reading and musing and painting and sewing. again.  

do i need to be productive and clean the house from top of the fridge to bottom of the baseboards?  should i finish the simplicity patchwork which is not simple at all? write the farm training modules?  learn to tat?  save the world?

i always try to find that happy place between living restfully and being productive and recently, i reclaimed a small spot at the verandah.  i still have to bring up my rocking chair from the coffee shop downstairs to complete the look of the nook.  bwahahaha!

so today, in between tapping on my lappy and dipping my paintbrush, i made an appointment to have that swedish before i hit the sack.  i took sometime to really sit down and talk things about my relaunching of the b&b, but is that work? bwahahaha!  no, it is coffee time with a real-life friend.  

while it may sound so self-indulgent, those things and activities, they are also the very things that are so important and very rarely scheduled for the self.
sometimes, it is the little things, the daily things, the ordinary things that i need to notice and celebrate!  but this saturday, today, i am celebrating a different kind of gift:  permission to be indulgent.  bwahahaha!

and one more thing,  i allow myself to wear my pearls everyday. now, that is indulgent. bwahahaha!