cold winds, warm thoughts

this easterlies make the day cold, notwithstanding the nights that go with it!  i usually wake up in the middle of the night, not from a bad dream, am over that, thank god, but from the howls that permeate the old structure that is my home.

however, there is just no letting this week pass on without me writing on some warm thoughts and prayers: 
for this week, may my being be filled with grace, the kind that i receive and the kind that i give. 

may my thoughts clear as i sip on my hot coffee and may my friendships ever deepen around this cold week days.  

in some way, however small, may i find time to break bread, thank and celebrate.

life is good!  and ilysm!  ♥ ♥ ♥

the day after

 

it was sudden, before i knew it, you were gone again.

and the day after you was cold. bitterly cold. and unseasonably cruel.
it was somehow like an apparition that never came. but you did! i have your gift to prove it!
you tease. next time will be better.
you lie. if only we had time and space then.

i tore at the crumpled paper on which i wrote everything i wanted to ask and tell you, but never did.
littered my bedroom floor, like confetti.

by the time i woke up from a restless sleep, i knew the house is still empty, sterile, even.
the loneliness sets in.
the mixed emotions collide and cloud my vision again. was it the best day and way to greet this new year, or the worst?

i think back to that day that now seems so far away, so unapproachable.  we hugged, we had coffee, we strolled, held hands. . .but still wished for more, at least, i did!
today, i know this for sure: every coming goes.
and there are no words to honour this, only tears.  and maybe hope that there is still more waiting to do. . .

until then.