making time for dreams

Bernadette De Los Santos
1 Sept 2000

I do crafts and I paint. I’ve always longed to. But with a diploma from Ateneo that says “Bachelor of Science in Management”, that dream had been tucked away for “someday”, while I busy myself “managing” my roller coaster ride of a career, as one friend puts it. I envisioned myself stitching and beading and painting during long mornings of uninterrupted time. . .someday. My current job (teaching arts and crafts) which was a wonderful surprise, arrived when I was thirty-six. “Someday” was fading, becoming increasingly elusive. Then I changed my thinking and created time to realize my dream.

Two years ago, in a sudden burst of spontaneity, I volunteered to apply for a teaching position in a school more commonly known to the moneyed and connected circle. My assignment was to think of a craft related to the subject matter and be able to “show” it to the class. Little had I known then that that would be the springboard for the path I am trekking now. I was not immediately hired – afterall, I was not a “teacher”, I was a “manager”. But I never allowed that to stop me from being one. I jumped at the first chance I got and earned my first units in education that summer, and the next semester and then, another surprise was in the making – an unexpected call from the school where I applied for that teaching position. And the rest is history.

My trepidation then was not having blocks of time to be creative. It was just in small pieces. Taking the education classes was part of my search for a way to express my creativity and see myself as an artist.

As a child, I had stood in art supplies stores and dreamed. The paints and brushes and paper made me wonder what it would be like. But I thought people had to be born knowing how to draw and paint. After I got hitched, I delved into crafts and began to experiment with color and cloth. I sewed, read and watched workshops – weaving, beading, stitching, pottery, baskets, decorating, gardening – and at thirty six, took my first art lesson in a university near home. The dream of crafting and painting lingered somewhere between my heart and my fingers, always just out of reach. Then I decided to claim a workspace in the dining room and start using those blocks and pieces of time.

Now I craft and I paint and I teach, working for periods from twenty seconds to a day. I can step into a classroom and lecture on the basics of menstrual care and walk into another to supervise the students while they wait for the paint to dry, and still enter another to help students add wings and tails to their projects. My students do my crafts with gusto.

I also find information and support in the internet. I exchange ideas, learn techniques and meet friends on line. Time spent on the computer can be captured in small increments.

Most of the time, I work on several projects at once so that I’ll have tasks that match the time available. I may do hand sewing in bed at night or while watching a show on TV. I’ll paint, then look over lesson planning, paint, then load laundry into the dryer. “Real life” and my arts and crafts are seamlessly woven together. While showing guests my collection, I bead. I never waste a second, yet I find serenity and feel relaxed.

For a long time, I did not show my creations or talk about my goals. It took me many years to discover that I can learn to be an artist – you don’t have to pop out of a pod with all the skills. I immersed myself learning to sew, stitch, weave, mold and paint. I have taken classes, read books, experimented and taken hints and tips from teachers and friends. Now my arts and crafts are displayed at home, at friends’ homes and in school. I now confidently label myself an artist. I have made my dream come true, five minutes at a time.