My Life is My Art My Art is My Life: what i know for sure

on sundays, i try to take time to think about stuff that i take seriously. one of them is my gratitude list, another is my random reflections on my life's purpose.
amidst all the activities that seem to occupy every minute of my time, when i allow it, i find it necessary to stop, relax, take a deep breath and reflect.

after a great yesterday at the farm, enjoying and taking pleasure in the company of good friends and fellow artists, i believe, my gratitude list for the sunday will be as easy as abc. bwahahaha!

so i take a more serious note and went down more deeply, and so here are my thoughts for the day, such a blessed sunday, this one.
in between my sunday thoughts and a great conversation with a lovely person, i have three things i know for sure:

1. i was created for a purpose. and so were you.
life is not meaningless. and i did not evolve from monkeys, nor was there a big bang when i got created, or was there? bwahahaha! at least, i don't think so.
i am special and exceptional. powerful and mighty, enchanting and magical.

i live in this world full of mystery, ambiguity, and unknown. and it is full of meaning, worth, sense and value. and it was intended to be that way. although sometimes, i try to explain a lot, when i do not have to, causing me much stress and anxiety, i should just let Him be! so i don't have to have a massage every now and then. bwahahaha! (oooops, malou, sorry!)

i am more than i realize, but still tragically, sadly flawed, blemished, imperfect. (i do not need to belo, tho, as i am, i am more than just ok. i get by. bwahahaha!) so there is plenty of room for humility and modesty, and failure. heaps and loads of space to learn and grow - to become.

i hope i do, that i should discover, realize my innate and intrinsic dignity (not letting anybody push me around, oh no, not anymore) and my inherent and natural glory. (i am outstanding, also in the simplicity of the ordinary). and somehow, though not always, miraculously, see it in others, too.

2. the world has not seen what great art can do. not yet. so the task.
i think and believe words matter and count, and imagination illuminates and enlightens. that beauty can heal a shattered soul.
i need more life and love in this world. and less lies and lawyers. (no offense to matt and jof. you know you both are dear to me. bwahahaha!) i just want to see more paintings and books and less arguments and angry people.

i need more art - to be refreshed and rejuvenated. i need this more than i can ever comprehend. i need more poetry and less prose, more art and less advertising.
i need life. i need friends. i need sunsets, starlights and moonlights, long walks and late nights. i need to sleep in and daydream, to eat hiro and cookies and cream for supper.
i need to find that child-like part of me that i lost long ago.
when i do, there will be no end to what i can accomplish. with His help, i will become what i was meant to be, to live the life i long for.

3. we are all broken, cracked. but that doesn't excuse inaction.
everyone has pain. everybody hurts. i am not quite sure i will ever understand why. and that's okay. but i still need to act. i still need to move - and be moved. and so do you.

i cannot live for myself alone. this will not satisfy nor please me, it will leave me and the world, feeling empty and hollow inside.

i was made for you and we were made for each other, not for teleseries or sitcoms, but real and raw community. beautifully broken relationships, this is what will heal us.
and because i am willing, to be moved, to be touched, to engage the ball of bruised humanity i call it, i will come alive and find my true self. it will be beautiful and ugly, all at the same time. bwahahaha!

these are three things i know for sure. they are only three. there are , of course, others. but these are enough for me. enough to do something that matters today, sunday.