memoir of a dilettante gardener

gardens and gardeners,
like all living beings age and change.

why wouldn’t they?

the passage of time brings about this,

slowly, creepingly, and almost always takes one by surprise.

yesterday,

when i looked in my full length mirror,

oh, rather, tootsie’s mirror housed in my cafe,
on my way to my shoppe and studio,

i caught a glimpse of a woman,

who must have had her share of passage of time in her life,

and i realize in amazement that it’s me.

when i was young
(i am still young now, i pretend and would want to believe),

i always rebelled against the idea

that a good thing also has to end.

how could it?

and when i got myself into gardening,

it became quite clear,

because in a garden,

change is nature’s way of managing it all

– animals, vegetables, flowers, trees.

the sands of the desert shift, and mountains erode.

everything changes, and somehow or other it all works.

it’s hard to say whether a garden is a metaphor for life

or the other way around.

certainly, each phase of my life

has been clearly reflected not only in my mirror

but also through the windows of my soul

that give me a glimpse of my garden, that is,

my life.

who knew?

that one day i would have long hair.

or that i will be glued to wearing shorts.

that i would have more to do all day
than just bask on the beach.


that the year would come
when my birthday cake
would no longer be bigger than my body.

that i would make a lovely bridesmaid,


but never the bride.



that i would NOT be a biological mother,
but a mother, all the same.

that children would be those i ‘borrow’


that i would love to decorate the house,
the farm for no reason at all, or for the only reason that matters,

for the self.

that i would love having cocks and hens for pets. bwahahaha,

now that is funny!

that wearing wings and growing them are totally different things,

but promising.

and that i would spread those wings

and soar.

Naturescaping: Escaping to Nature

my style of yardkeeping has long been inspired

by the natural landscape around my hometown,

Baao,

living peacefully alongside local trees


and the wispy grasses that grow happily beneath them

always felt comfortable and genuine,

and i’m excited to learn that this hands off approach to landscaping

now has a name of its own:

naturescaping.

it describes the growing trend

toward replacing the lawn

with native species of grasses,

flowers,

shrubs, and trees.


so, what exactly is a native plant?

it’s one that existed within the place for a long time.

native plants conserve soil and water,

provide the backbone for non-polluting landscapes

because they don’t need fertilizers or pesticides,

supports a diversity of wildlife through improved habitat,

reduce long term maintenance after plantings are established,

are hardy and tolerant,

and are less prone to destructive insects.

how did i know all these?

well, i read, researched and observed.

what are my eyes for? if i don't use them?


if you’re skeptical

because native plants seem like they might be “weedier”

than a carpet of green zoysia turf,

picture this:

you can’t trade your ho-hum plot of monotonous green

for an artistically designed environment of the local bushes,

carabao grasses, and colored wildflowers

– a refuge where you can meander along pebbled paths
and watch birds

and butterflies dance among the blooms.

it’s a place of peace, no matter how small,

because it has taken its cue from mother nature herself.



i am an artist, and i could paint beautiful flowers,

but,

no one artist can beat the beauty that mother nature offers.
and as I always say, we only have one earth, we only live one life.

THINK!

@ 47

i live one colorful LIFE

my mission in life is
to create. . .
express. . .
and inspire. . .

when i was a little girl my mother told me
that the people in the hospital where she delivered,
would always be around me,
pinching me to tears and saying i would live

a colorful life.

now, that was an understatement!
and Ma didn’t know any better.
and i think i decided to do just that.
restless spirit as I AM,
i always have my hands on something creative.
i love life.
i love the creative process.
i love to play.

earlier on,
i used to think that we were born to work hard
and should feel lucky when something good happened.
thanks to my commitment to growth
and mindful living,
i found out that we do create our own reality. . .
always.
sure, we can "catch" a common belief
and live to prove that it is true.
but we also can decide differently.

you see,
we all make up rules about our own lives
and how they work.
this is what i choose to believe and live by.
not so many years ago i came to a realization of the importance of listening.
i found this to be one of the most simple
yet profound ways to conscious living.
how this made me the perfect listener to life stories
is simply amazing:
laughter mingles with tears in the process.

so. . .
today,

i celebrate my birthday.

i am 47!
and there is a lot i am looking forward to!
how do i want to live?
what is in my heart?
any dreams still on my to-do list? there are plenty!.

i hope to live another 100 years
to taste everything i want to taste
and express the richness of my soul.

my experience is that if there is a dream in my heart
i should ( and i really mean it) go for it!
it brings me alive!
the dream itself carries a guaranty for success.
i am never too old for any unexpressed desires.
if i am really too old ( i can't believe i wrote this),
the dream will leave me.
i know this intuitively.
i believe nothing is impossible.
everything is possible!
and all suppressed dreams create just an energy leak.

if i find myself a bit down, or with no energy. . .
i ask myself what i still want that i believe i cannot have/be?

i honor the spirit in me.
i support my dreams.
and i never compromise on my heart's desires
and i stay outrageously ALIVE!



and today, as every day,
i reinforce what i already believe:
the world is my playground
and my life is a whole long vacation.

bwahahaha!

i dream @ Starbuck's

the idea was really simple!
when i saw those bags of spent coffee grounds

on the lowest shelf at Starbuck’s about 8 years ago,

i knew i found my brew.

and i am sure,

green thumbs like me

who also realized the wisdom of this simple idea

got stimulated

and joined the java jolt

that i can only get from Starbuck’s.

i have tried to live an eco-friendly life and always try to patronize corps

that are active in their environmental responsibilities in the communities where they do their business,

and i see that in Starbuck's.and even when am not enjoying a cup @ Starbuck's, I still collect my spent coffee grounds and use them to fertilize my greens,

after all, i am an outstanding rural woman & i epitomize the green thumbed life.
what do i get from doing this?

well, i do not only talk, i also act.

most of the time, i do small deeds for my big dreams.

my dreams are huge!

and i intend to see them come true, maybe not in a big way, but in my own ‘huge’ way.

i am a visionary. i see a possible eden everywhere!

looking up from under a tree

i do have a bit of a fascination for trees,


which is not surprising,

considering that i am a rural woman.



how i like leaves and twigs,

and how much i love the green. . .
but the form of the tree
is stunning to really look at,
especially from under it.

whenever i see a tree,

i just can’t help be in awe.


and when i am under one,

i look up

and want to reach out, fly and look from its crown. . .

all i can do now is capture its beauty. . .

its immensity, its sheer size humbles me. . .

i embrace every tree i see, its majesty.

when i was little i used to draw trees quite a lot:

trunks, leaves and twigs.

i had limited sorts of trees to see then.

travel and experience

have let me see lots of trees,

and how i marvel at each one’s grandeur.



as i walk along a path of trees. . .
or a path of absence,

i recite quietly,

sometimes without a sound at all,

or if am alone, or think i am, screamingly. . .
the poem that says it all for me. . .