guilt or gratitude

my recent bacolod trip was really a sweet treat trip!  

what with calea, felicia's, guimaras mangoes, bong-bong's, 21, kuppa, imay's, chicken house, 
etc, etc, etc. . .  omg!  
bwahahaha!

i dig into my dessert with a spoon, or was it a fork in my hand, smile beaming on my face.  in between tales and laughter, i would succumb to, "hmmmmm, yummmmm!"

i tell my friend, i do not struggle with the guilt thing.  i feel like i make progress, too, despite some sort of a spree like this.  bwahahaha!

guilt seems to be my nemesis.  it jumps out from dark corners of my life to announce that i am not doing enough, being enough, blah-blah-blah.  so i turn the palm of my hand to it and declare:  talk to the hand, the face is busy!  bwahahaha!

this brings me to think and mull over what i replace guilt with, instead.
well, with one simple word:  gratitude.
huh?  duh!
that was hardly expected, was it not?  bwahahaha!  sure expecting more in the lines of try harder.

but the more i ponder it in the coming days and weeks, the more it begins making sense to me.
i go out to lunch or go for a cuppa alone, or with my nephews and nieces, or my friends, my sisters, my students, my helps and never feel guilty for spending the money (even though it sometimes goes over the budget).
what i have come to realize just now, yes, just now, after going through my photos of the otherwise sinful desserts i indulged in, at bacolod, is that, guilt keeps me from saying. . .

thank you for the people in my life.
thank you for this delicious food and those who prepared it.
thank you for the gift of this amount that i can set aside for this indulgence.

the next time, i would make a list of all the things i sometimes would feel guilty about and am sure, each one offers ways to be grateful instead.

in this season of celebration, with open arms, and mind and heart, i let myself receive the gift i have been given:  a guilt free life. . .

and then give thanks to the one who has given me so many gifts and blessings along with it.

ps.  ilysm, i know you know it!  ♥ ♥ ♥