vibrant. vivid.

it has been a Sisterhood tradition to celebrate christmas!  and this year, we celebrate our life's colours!

it was a gathering of friends, of sisters.  27 dec 2011.  

it is not everyday that we get the chance to come together, hang out and exchange gifts and stories, with our sisters / friends.  and this party we hold yearly, is our own way to stay in touch, amidst the busy every day of our own separate lives.  a year will definitely be incomplete without the gathering of The Sisters in the Hood.

 

 usually, long before the party date, the theme has already been in mind.  sometimes ideas come from my own stock of the stuff i use in F.A.R.M., other times, the idea comes from the net. 

this year, however, the inspiration came just by the time i was setting up the table.  

there were minor hitches, like when i couldn't find the portuguese lace that i love using for formal sit-down dinners.  

i have to settle for the crocheted hand-me-down table cloth.  the rest came easy.  i have boxes of crocheted doilies in the rich colours i was imagining the table setting would be.  

 

and my neighbours had the euphorbia blooms that would complete my palette.  bwahahaha!  some flowers were picked from unknowing neighbours.  bwahahaha!  beware of the flower picker that lurks during this time of the year.

a week before our party, we have already decided / assigned the colours of my F.A.R.M. christmas trees, to the five of us.  

i got to pick my fave green, and i had my mind set on wearing one certain vintage linen dress for the occasion.  

of course, ritzie did not have to be asked, and no one dared pick her colour from among the choices.  bwahahaha!  a show of respect, i.e.  she owns the colour, we respect ownership.  tootsie had her red, too, also owned.  and yayette was made to pick from either blue or yellow, and opted for the sunny yellow, very appropriate for the sunny and smiling disposition she owns.

(by the way, when i set up my F.A.R.M. Christmas trees, i never realized that it might as well represent the sisters!  in fact, my other group, burikbutikan baao, having five members as well, identifies with the trees, too.  W.O.W.).  

we started dinner with a bottle of red.  tootsie warned us, tho, of her impending dozin'off - a forboding of the coming 3rd hour.  ritzie, of course, was gracious enough to enjoy the wine, without batting an eyelash.  bwahahaha!  no preconcieved complaints from her.  (complaints = T not R).  bwahahaha!

 

before we gulped away the red, we had our salad, the greens of which came from La Huerta.  i love serving dishes that use my farm produce.  i set up a salad bar just near our dinner table, so eveybody can just fix n' mix their own salad.

the main course was the farm meatloaf, partnered with the creamy mashed potaoes in mushroom gravy.  the meatloaf was perfect, taste, texture and appearance.  thanks to lalaine, for following my culinary instructions.  bwahahaha!

we had frozen grahams for dessert, and yayette brought out some truffles, too.

the exchange of gifts came right after dessert, so we had to transfer to the next room, the gallery, where our gifts were.  

we each had an item on our wishlist, where our sisters would know what to give each other.  this lets us prevent receiving unwanted gadgets and stuff that overcrowd our storage.  we only wish for what we need.  

this year, i realized, i need a new flat iron, so i wished for that, and i got it!  sans the giddy.  (reminder to T).  bwahahaha!

we opened our presents with the excitement of children, reminiscent of our early christmas days when we wake up expectantly and rush under the tree to look for gifts with our names on them.  we relive those wonderful memories, in our sisterhood christmas traditions.

 

this christmas, The Sisters in the Hood celebrate life's colours with vibrant and vivid hues!  

and it didn't have to be perfect to be beautiful!  bwahahaha!


ps.  ilysm!  thank you for the colours!

a special day after christmas

"but it was you who let everything into my heart, and it was you who once again awoke my spirit."
-sigur ros

a special day after christmas, 
a day of reflection

i have learned not to dwell in the past
i once forgot to dream of the future
now, i live in the present.

i discovered that peace comes from within
i do not seek it from without, 
not anymore, never.

i realized that i deserve my own love and affection
so, i love myself today and everyday.

i am one of a kind.
i am a miracle. 
and i thank you for the colours.


and that is not just saying.  bwahahaha!  

i am merry this christmas!

standing L to R:  manilyn, christian t., tintin, bidibidi, lalaine, alfred, marilyn, arnold, albert, sandy.   front L to R: christian b., cris, dino, jason, gilbert, pido.  not in the picture:  nicco, jam, babing, inggay, jen, virgie 

 

 

 

 

 

ps.  ilysm!  thank you for the colours!

merry christmas, darling!

greeting cards have all been sent
the christmas rush is through
but i still have one wish to make
a special one for you


merry christmas, darling
we're apart that's true
but i can dream and in my dreams
i'm christmas-ing with you

holidays are joyful
there's always something new
but everyday's a holiday
when i'm near to you

the lights on my tree
i wish you could see
i wish it every day
logs on the fire
fill me with desire
to see you and to say


that i wish you merry christmas
happy new year, too
i've just one wish
on this christmas eve
i wish i were with you.

walking down the end of 2011

it was a day of quiet, a party tailor-made for introverts (though am a certified extro.  bwahahaha!), my own idea of best-day-ever.  

manilyn's bro albert came and picked her up to stay with their parents.  nicco is with her family, too, looking after her youngest sis, while jam takes care of their sick mom.  cris left for his island-home to spend christmas with his grandmother, who raised him since he was but a tot, after both his parents passed away.  jason stays with his young family and wife, who just gave birth to twins, yesterday morning.  sandy begged for a dayoff, he wants to celebrate the birthday of his youngest son. . . 

and so i had hours all to myself.  i forget how much i need it, the time.  the quiet.  the space.

i do not know how it is with you, but with me it is like this:  i put a lot of pressure on alone.  (however ironic it sounds, as i am alone, single, unattached, i never seem to have time alone for the self).  maybe it is because i spend so much time craving it, and so when it comes, i try to suck the life out of it.  i fail to let it breathe, when breathing is the very thing i need.  

i thought of the coming new year, how it is always the same, a run of the mill, but oh, so different, dissimilar.  i had planned to spend time planning (reason why i need that much-coveted starbucks planner.bwahahaha!). and praying about what lies ahead, about things that may make me twisted up and anxious and unfree.

finally, i surrendered to the quiet.  instead of planning and dealing with issues, i spent some time reading.  i read steve joy (thanks to the lovely person who lent the book to me), i read some posts by friends and a little about journal spilling (right, spilling.)  i read some of my previous journal entries, too, and how i enjoy doing that!  i was actually laughing!  bwahahaha!  the freedom of expression at its best!  

and before i knew it, my tired feet were heading towards the paths to my haven, leading to my refuge.

and in what most of you will call waste of time, one good person would call it beautiful waste of time, i walked.  and listened.  and captured the day happening around me.  The Force stands on his head, you know.  just when i think i finally have time to figure things out, he quiets me, instead.  just when i think it is my chance to pour out, i realize i have nothing i need to say.  no reason for me to weep.  i am so blessed and loved.

there can be fear, fear that the time i have is spilling through my fingers without a single minute counting, because i haven't written a goal, have not solved a problem, have not strung one word into two.  but there is great comfort in knowing that as i walk, he walks with me.  he reminds me that it is not about dealing with my problems, it is about remembering that he has already dealt with them.  it is about knowing and believing and receiving.

as this year quietly blends into the next, a week from now, i pray that i would find permission to be with him.  not necessarily for hours on end, but for time enough to push through the shame of inactivity that threatens to overwhelm when i let myself be still.  and in that place of quiet existence, i pray to be engulfed and swallowed up with a sense of belovedness.

and for the beautiful persons in my life:  thank you for your words, your reassurances, your humor, your wisdom, your youth.  may the new year bring more beautiful conversation and may the force provide you and me a place for our souls to breathe. . .  

ps.  thank you for the colours!  ilysm!

35. a sun-drenched sunday morning

 after a long line of rainy days, i woke up (after going back to bed and catching on some lost sleep, my third early morning mass was this morning!  and i intend to complete this devotion) to a sun-drenched room!  i wanted  to crawl up in the bed and read a spell, but i settled for a number of snapshots of the red ginger that grows randomly at my backyard garden here at the villa.

 

 

i love the rain, and the feel of wet earth under my bare feet.  but when the sun smiles, it makes my plants and flowers glisten with glee!  and who would not love that, too?  bwahahaha!

so for this day, i thank The Force for this cool, windy and sunny sunday morning. . .  and my fresh new and exciting thoughts on my life's colours!  bwahahaha!

here's wishing you a sun-drenched day, wherever you are.  

ps. ilysm and i know you know it!

secret revealed

i have had more than my share of accolades, praises, honours, (not that i have grown tired of them, i won't!  bwahahaha!  i have been born to be outstanding!  and that is not just a statement), about my paradise, my haven, my refuge.  la huerta has been called the best of names, most of them true (am being modest here.  bwahahaha!)  the lush, verdant and flourishing gardens have earned a lot of positive critiques, good reviews.  the food served at the restaurant has been creating raves, and has put the place in the "must visit" list of camsur, has also turned pilgrims out of tourists.  bwahahaha!  the ambiance, the mood, the atmosphere have all made both locals and not, wish they have a piece of this eden.  and behind all these, i hold a secret very dear to my heart.

so for this week that has been so hectic, frantic and wild, which almost caused me to forget this my gratitude entry, i would like to reveal the secret behind the success of la huerta, and how i am grateful of these blessings that come in the different shapes and sizes of the three women in my life.

32.  inggay - funny, impish and small, with a booming voice, a ready retort and a contagious laughter.  she makes sure my path is strewn with flowers when i visit, which is almost everyday.  bwahahaha!  she tends to my plants, my clothes and everything in between.

33.  lalaine - tall and lanky, always with a ready smile, she manages my kitchen and makes sure my pet poultry does no invasion.  bwahahaha!  she not only makes breakfast for my guests, she makes mine, too, 24/7.  bwahahaha!

34.  virgie - do not let her serious demeanour fool you.  she commandeers the la huerta fleet with authority, but is ready with her own version of humour, most of them from papanards.  bwahahaha!  a steady supply of avocado, jackfruit and guyabano from her, and when that runs out, she brings the seeds, too!  so my future orchard would have been from her.  bwahahaha!

my cup of gratitude overflows, with the thought that these three women in my life have made sure i nurture my passions and let me live my dreams.  this is my secret revealed.

come sit with me

find your way to me, my love.
the coffee is brewin', my cup ready.
i got hundreds of things to tell you,
come sit with me.

i only have this moment,
and only have one wish.

a rant

if you think this post is about my diego, then you are wrong.  (believe me, my diego is my fave subject to write about.  but i got to rant, too, at least once in a while.)

i have chewed, chomped and gnawed on this for a few days, and decided it is time to spit and spew it out.  i could talk to you in words and terms that might make you think, "wow, she's smart".  but i have found that when i am really bothered by something, angry at someone, it is better to speak the way i do when i mean something.  bald ass plainly!

and i mean this!

so here's my rant:

i have been reading about and watching lots of people the last little bit.  unhappy, miserable and forlorn people.  people who think they are above other folks.  not just here in the blogs and things i read online, but in the real world, too.

and it is stuck in my craw.  these people who think they know more than other people.  who think other people do not have the talent they have.  people who criticize, condemn and disparage ad nauseum what other people do or are, in a vicious, nasty and belittling way.  people who get their chuckles, chortles and giggles, or make themselves feel better, by insulting, wounding and slighting, and putting other folks down.

it torques my jaw.  irritates and infuriates me.  what a waste of time i think to myself while i read or listen to their shit.

if you have a legitimate gripe and grievance, spit it out. air it.  get it off your back.  better yet, come out!  stop hiding!  show your face or whatever it is called!  but do not keep tearing other people down because you need it to make yourself feel better, or to justify yourself as a human being (a term i use loosely).

because this is the way it is:

if you have something to share with the world, then stop bitching and show us what you have.  there is room enough for all of us on this blue marble.  we do not have to tear each other down to have our own space.

constructive criticism is good.  i believe it makes us try better at what we choose to do.  it improves the voice we are trying to share with the world, in whatever form we choose to share.  i also believe those people who cannot take it should not be throwing barbs.  those barbs turn into boomerangs, people, and they come back and smack your own ass!

waste time bitching about what other people have, how they do things, how they got there, how stupid they are, how untalented they are and on and on. . .and you are wasting time you could be doing something with your OWN life.

enough of that now.  i am usually upbeat and silent about most things.  i am usually and only writing about the diego in my life.  but once in a great while, i rant.

so hear me out!

ps.  ilysm!  thank you for the colours!  bwahahaha!

my diary that is very me

i have spent time thinking
what sort of journal 
should i like mine to be?

i have used all types of notebooks, 
papers - loose or otherwise.
but i would like my diary
to be a thing where i can be free,
that i can be myself, 
express and say anything,
scribble, doodle, whatever.
i like it to be neat, not slovenly
and very, very me.

my journal should be resilient, 
and supple embrace anything
somber, sad or glum
slight and minor, maybe trivial
of course beautiful, 
that comes into my mind.

i should like it to resemble
some capacious and ample hold-all,
in which i can glue and paste my odds and ends
to remind me of places, faces and experiences.

maybe, when i come back after a year or two,
i will find my collection of this and that
and mysteriously transport me back in time,
to the incredible moment,
its magic unbroken, by promises broken,
transparent enough to reflect the light of my life.

the main requisite, i think, 
of my journal, chronicle, diary,
is not to play the part of a censor,
but to take my words and letters,
my drawings and colours,
as the mood comes or of anything whatever,
and when the morrow comes,
i would be curious to read and find
how i went for things put in haphazard,
and how i found the significance to die.
oh no, just lie.

ps.  ilysm.  thank you for the colours!
pps.  my diary jacket is exclusively F.A.R.M.

only 21 days till christmas

honestly, 
i hope i am not put into a mad frenzy, 
crazy turmoil 
and "earnest panic" (bwahahaha!), 
this holiday season.
i hope that i can enjoy 
and take pleasure in all the wonderful 
and fantastic things that come with my favourite time of the year:
family and friends,
good cheer
and the feeling of love.

ps.  the last one, though, i have everyday.  bwahahaha!  ilysm!  thank you for the colours!

wishing everyone a merry month ahead! 
 

31. sunday morning's sun

on clear sunday mornings, there is a brief space of time when the leaves of the trees in my yard at the villa, lined along the path to the back, to my shoppe, are sprinkled with pure sunshine.  it only lasts a few minutes, and i often miss it, but whenever i do happen to catch the magical moment, i am mesmerized to the point of sitting down, gazing upwards till my neck hurts, my view screened by the different green hues, and enjoying the simple pleasure of watching the sun do its little dance among the leaves.  

no matter what my mood maybe, i always come away a bit more cheerful.

so today, i am grateful for this sunday morning's sun, filtered by the fresh green leaves of my trees at the villa.

unrecoverable

this is one thing 
you learn over time. . .
and then it's called wisdom.

















and it ain't funny.

herak man

kanigoan na alboroto.
siya, iyo man palan.
naman.
kanigoan na kaanggotan.
gibo-gibo niya man palan.
naman.

hale sa burakburakan.
bakong burak. 
makaherak.
joven inggit sa gurang.
herak man.  

bwahahaha!

ps.  being stabbed in the back by a young person who eats at my table and part-takes of my wine, is but a sad part of being old and beautiful.  bwahahaha!  

ilysm.  thank you for the colours.