i am a vessel & the world is a marble

this weekend is a lazy busy one.  hmmmm, sounds like an oxymoron.  well, maybe, but to me, this weekend is just that.  bwahahaha!  the cool breeze, the hazy and cloudy skies were just the right combination to urge me to indulge in my creativity.  

so i set the day off with finishing my 7/100 joy quilt. it was really a joy!  reason for the title, of course. bwahahaha!  and leisurely took my lappy upstairs to the veranda / studio and immersed myself into the lovely ambience that the paints around me create.  

i have been playing with the idea of doing several series all at the same time. bwahahaha!  ambitious me! all my works may look mundane to some as they are of ordinary stuff of my ordinary everyday life, well, not to me.  my subjects are representations of some of my reflections.  

so this lazy busy weekend saw the birth of two series: vessels and marbles.  
i cannot explain how exhilarated i felt, after i finished my piece.  it was dark, but i could not leave it undone.  such compulsion!  bwahahaha!

at the moment, am prepping for my second in a series of 9 vessels and the second in a series of eight marbles.  now, am i prolific or what?  bwahahaha!

thank you for the colours i see and experience!  ilysm!  i know you know it!  ♥ ♥ ♥

ridiculous and worth it

my dreams & visions scare people.  my passion and enthusiasm overwhelm those who have yet to journey in the realm of possibility.  my huge heart, courageous words and wild life cause others to gawk, gape and gawp, and point.  bwahahaha!
but this is exactly where i want to be.

if onlookers are not saying, "you're nuts!" then my dreams need some booster shots!

there are people, most of them well-meaning, who would try to stop me, for one, i have been given some words of discouragement by family & friends saying, there is no point of me farming as there is always the typhoons pounding on this area.  the point is, not the farming, but the living in a farm, but they missed the point.  bwahahaha!

i think when i show great courage, the source of which i can only smile about, others would try to stifle it, that is just how the world works.  funny!

what about these big dreamers:  abe lincoln and his ridiculous mission to abolish slavery?  or david and his pebble as he faced the giant?  they are but two of world changers and game players.  they showed up, gave all they had and put on the line in spite of nay-sayers and finger-pointers.  and despite all setbacks, they leaped for their dreams!

sometimes, my dreams scare me:  an art institute, a restaurant, a gallery and an international exhibit. sometimes, i hear in my head a voice saying, "yes B, you are nuts!"  bwahahaha!

but somewhere, i crossed the line of comfort, ease and predictability and chose to live a bigger life.

there is more here, and i will give each day, everything i have, and not look back.   (okay, i have, on several occasions, looked back, and i have listened to some voices in the crowd.  bwahahaha!) 

the lesson?  risk pays, and it costs, but it is always worth it!
now, dare dream?  bwahahaha! 

thank you, ilysm!  i know you know it! bwahahaha!  ♥ ♥ ♥

stubborn in the important things

my weekend was filled with two long, extended mornings and sweet cold comfy nights to match.  it is not often that i get to curl up late and keep myself warm under my self-sewn quilts.  hmmmmm, these are the mornings i would like in my life. bwahahaha!

today, as i wake up to prepare for my new routines, and finish up the old ones, i keep my door closed tight against anxiety and welcome in only friends who speak truth in love.

as trouble and hardship and disappointments roll over, as they normally do, and accolades and congratulations and friends high-five me, i hold on to my peace.

i let patience be my new companion while i sit amongst the people, crammed up in jeepneys, walking in throngs to cross the faulty pawili bridge.

while i wait for my coffee to brew at my fave starbucks, perch uncomfortably on the backseat of a tricycle and carry three hand-sewn totes with books and magazines in them from my fave store booksale, i remember love, receive grace and as always, be stubborn in the important things.

my heart brims with gratitude and awe and love and i know you know the reasons.  thank you.

awesome abandon

my weekend was filled 
with confidence 
and knowledge 
that in the deepest part of who i am, 

my identity cannot be shaken 
and my strength 
cannot be denied. . . 

the security 
that you have placed in my soul 
cannot be taken away from me. . .

so i set down my anxious self-obsession and really live. . . 
with awesome abandon!

thank you!  ilysm! bwahahaha!

my new year prayer

may i sing my song with all my heart,
notice, take in the colours of life anew
and be refreshed as i serve and provide.

may i take opportunities that come my way,
those that knock on my door and those that tap on my window.

may i never lose my enthusiasm to pursue my passions,  take time for my creative endeavours.

may i dance in the rain, play in the puddle and enjoy some crazy fun.

and when i feel like the tide has ebbed, may i find your presence and grace to be more than sufficient to keep me safe and loved at all times.

i look forward to a wonderful year, rich and brimming with untold possibilities. . .

 
    

a letter to my dearest

my dearest,
♥
it is almost the end of the season, the new year is just around the bend.  in the midst of all the celebrations, the busy, and the beautiful, the happy and the hard. . .

i just wanted to lean close to whisper today:
♥
i am so grateful and pleased for you.  you are a gift, not just this festive season and time of year but always, too.

i am thankful for your strengths, the weaknesses.  (tho my heart is crushed when i see you cry), your skills and talents, the ways you serve and give and get hurt.

i am thankful for the purpose you have and that only you can fulfill, and the reason why you are in this world, that you have come to know and live.

i am thankful that this year you have gotten through the tough times and embraced lots of the joys, too.  it takes grace to know what joys are, never mind happiness.  bwahahaha!  and you had heaps of grace your way.

so, please, take a moment and just lean back and let it soak in that you are loved!
close your eyes.  take a sip of that cold mochafrap that you so love, well, also for the stickers that come with it.  bwahahaha!
think about the wonder at the manger because He will never stop pursuing your heart.  i will never stop, too.

i am so glad that the journey you are on, had led you right here this year.  and i pray also next year.

warm hugs and kisses,
xoxo

ps.  ilysm.  i know you know it.  ♥ ♥ ♥       

a day after

in this one troubled, distorted and damaged world,

the door is jammed and rammed right tight
and i ache and long and hope in this wet and cold dark,
straining for footsteps from somewhere else,
for the jangling and rattling and clanking of keys
and a crack of light,

wild and fierce for the hope from the outside that can spring me out. . .

and if i still and turn and listen
there it is:  the creaking of the door wide open. . .

thank you!  ilysm!  i know you know it!  ♥ ♥ ♥